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At the beginning of each year we decide that we’re going to do everything new, those resolutions usually last until the second week of January because routine sets in and life goes back to normal. Part of why we tend not to come through with our resolutions it’s because we set unrealistic goals.
So, does that mean not making New Year’s resolutions? Not necessarily… These were my lessons from 2010.
- Look at the root of the problem- Sometimes we are addressing the symptoms and not the real issue. When you don’t resolve the actual issue, your chances of success decline significantly because the behavior will either return or transform. The most common issues are food and finances, but this applies to anything as well. People enter into diets or financial plans to resolve debt, but within months they return to their bad habits, that’s an example of treating the symptoms and not the issue. Why do you eat or spend or drink or whatever the issue is? Is it loneliness, self esteem, boredom, lack of skills. Once you identify what’s really causing the problem, even though it may take a little longer to see results in the changes, you may experience more permanent changes and more satisfying results. (Matthew 13:20-22)
- Identify the reasons for the change- Are you making these changes for you or for someone else? Sometimes we have the tendency to join a wagon because our peer jumped in it, but are those things that you’re pursuing beneficial to you. Look if your goal will have a physical, emotional, spiritual or even financial benefit for you. This may be extreme, but for example, I have a friend who is anorexic and the last thing I would want for her is to go on a diet with me. (Romans 12:2)
- Find out what works for you- We are not truly created equal, we are as different as the stars in the sky. Find something that works for you in the accomplishment of your goal.
- Divide your big goal into small steps. I think the principle of one day at a time and small changes very well applies here. I get it! In the microwave mentality world that we live in, we want immediate results, but are those the ones that really last? Whatever you’re trying to change in your life didn’t happen over night and it will not go away over night. You will feel like a failure when you don’t get the results you want or when the results are not lasting. However if you start with smaller goals and celebrate those smalls victories, then once a goal is achieve you can up the bar to another one higher. By the end of the year you will be able to look back and see not only that you have accomplished more than you honestly expected ( Ecclesiastes 3:1-17;7:17)
- Seek help- if you have tried to achieve this goal before and the things you’ve tried has not work, there’s no shame on seeking help. Having someone to guide you through the process, encourage you and celebrate with you your success may be the formula to finally conquer that obstacle that you’re trying to overcome. (Deuteronomy 1:12-13)
So start working on your game plan and much success in 2011!!
I didn’t forget to conclude the series. I think God wanted me to experience some things so that I would be able to share from recent knowledge.
wn while you are still angry” Being upset is a very uncomfortable feeling, going to bed angry or upset it’s a nightmare. Some people have lived lives of resentments and unforgiveness. This really affects any person’s spiritual and physical health and in the end, only the offended party is suffering the consequences. The offender probably doesn’t even know something happened. Make resolution with the things of that day before it ends. It helps continue healthy relationships. It helps practice forgiveness (and remember that we are forgiven as we forgive) and it definitely helps with a good night sleep.
Offenses usually start with the reaction of, “who are you to say or do this to me? I have a different question, ‘Who are you to judge the other person and to know the circumstances” You who have received mercy, who are you not to give it? Matthew 6:12 says “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” So, since you’re perfect and have never offended anyone, you will not have to forgive the one who offended you… think again! Continue reading in Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Discovering out talents can be a tricky situation. God gave us all talents for his purpose, but as we go through life there are certain things that we have interest on for different reasons and they are not necessarily suited for us.
readiness to not discern our hurts and to mission into others…those others who need help, not us. (Did someone lose a mirror?) Shh! let me share a little secret, this is called pride!
I believe that most of our issues are in our head (mine are!). By that I mean the way we perceive our surroundings can make us react different to the same situation. We visualize something and when it doesn’t look like our vision in real life it becomes frustrating. What is important to us, it’s not necessarily important to other people. It is unfair to place expectations on others, especially if those have not been verbalize. We have this habit of assuming that people are mind readers. How many times have you heard or say, he or she knows better? Really? You may expect for them to know better, but that may not be the case. Free others from the prison of your expectation and face the reality of your own actions. Unless you have specifically explained to another person what your expectations are, don’t YOU expect for them to be met.
She walks with an air of confidence inside herself into her boss’s office for her review. Her boss tells her the following: “Lucy you’ve done a great job this year. You have taken additional responsibilities which speaks volume about your initiative. I think you will make a great manager at some point. I think we have focus on job knowledge this year and I will like to send you to some management courses this coming year. This will give you a great opportunity to learn the rules and regulation regarding human resources, how to solve issues with staff, how to effectively delegate and all those good things that will make you an excellent manager one day”
checkbook and something is not right, there’s some money missing”
He was clueless. She finally revealed to him the date. He said, “ oh, happy first kissversary” softly pecked her and continued the movie. She was offended by the fact that it wasn’t as big of a deal to him as it had been to her. She was also disappointed to the fact that she had been waiting all day for him just to come out and say happy kissversary. “That is not even a word!” 
Not in a 100% of the cases, but at least on 98% when someone feels offended is truly a symptom of pride and/or denial. Proverbs 18:19 (NIV) tells us that “An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel”. If we put in perspective when we feel offended about a situation is more about how it touches a soft spot inside of us that makes it hurt or burn, than about the actual offender.
offended is a selfish act, it’s all about you and your feelings, and it has nothing to do with growth or the other person. I know you just opened your eyes when you read this. I did too the first time I heard it, but when I finally sat down to ponder on it, I realize it was the truth.
We probably all know the new commandments that Jesus gave us; to love the Lord with all our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves. One of the things I have discovered in my personal journey is that I can’t judge other people for what they do, as I’m not perfect myself. This particular principle talks about doing to others as we like for others to do for us.
forgiving others, even when they are repentant. Our pride gets in the middle like the one of this servant. We deserve forgiveness or we plead for it, then why is it so hard to grant the same mercy to others. If God had given us freedom from the chains of condemnation, why are we still holding hostages? Mercy and forgiveness will be freedom for more than one; for the offender and the offended.
so that the LORD will turn from his fierce anger; he will show you mercy, have compassion on you, and increase your numbers, as he promised on oath to your forefathers”. 
It is terrible that as a people we have to be watchful even with those who we have been conditioned to trust, namely men and women who claim to come in the name of God. Sex scandals have not been exclusive to the Catholic Church, many preachers and pastors have fallen short of the grace and those things have become public. It is always disappointing. I think part of the disappointment comes from forgetting these individuals are merely men and women. We have the tendency to elevate their position because of the part they play in our communities, social settings and the body of Christ. The reality is that yes, their responsibility is to lead and teach us about the Lord, but their humanity doesn’t leave with their calling. Actually, as Christians we need to pray harder for our leaders because their attacks and strongholds are often as large as their calling.
know that this is a requirement of the commitment they have made. If sex was the driving force then priests having relations with Nuns or other secular adults would be just as, if not more, prevalent. The truth is pedophilia, rape, and sexual abuse is not sexually driven. They are driven by a deeper disturbance; it’s about control and power more than the sex itself.
