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WF: Beautiful

When someone is in an abusive relationship they feel devalued. People often ask how someone could allow another person to abuse them. The reality is that abuse is a slow systematic process. The abuser recognizes the vulnerabilities on their object of abuse and preys on those vulnerabilities.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but eats slowly at the core of the one suffering the abuse.

Once the chains of abuse have been locked, several things extend or perpetuate the abused to stay with the abuser. The lies that were believed, the toll to the self-esteem, the dependence on the abuser (emotional, financial, cultural, etc.) will make the smartest and most educated person stay in an abusive situation. It is very hard for someone who has not lived or is not living in an abusive relationship to understand. This isolates the victim even more.

Questions like: Why do you allow it? Why don’t you leave? And comments like: You are in this situation because you want to; do not help but alienate more the one that desperately needs help. And sometimes the only help that you can provide is a listening ear.

But my point in this Worship Friday is to tell you out there to stop believing the lie. Stop believing that you are not worth it. Stop believing that you are not special, that you’re unloved. Stop believing that you’re not attractive. You are perfectly made. You’re beautiful. I hope this song encourages you in the darkest hours and gives you the strength to know that to He who created you, you are all.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

If you need to prayer or to share your story, don’t hesitate to email me at therisingmuse at Gmail dot com

WF: Worship Friday

True Love

We are all pursuing true love. God created us as social beings, yes even those of us who don’t enjoy being around people. The reality is that those who don’t enjoy being around people,  are just protecting themselves from being hurt, if you look deep down. As loving creatures we crave love, just as much or more than we crave food or water.

But as we pursue love, are we willing to give love, real love? At the end of the day, what is love? The word of God tells us in  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”

So having that as a base, are we patient with the ones we love?

I know that this is a hard one. We all have expectations for ourselves and for those around us. Sometimes we know the potential of our loved ones, but they may not be ready, don’t realize it or  simply don’t want to. Are we patient enough  to support them through their journey?

Do we always want to get our way?

Ask yourself this, do you rather be at peace or right all the time? Sometimes we have to compromise in all kinds of relationships. Yes, we obviously think that our way and our thoughts are the best ideas, but when we love someone we need to take a step back and give grace and allow others to go at their own pace, their way and support them and love them through the process.

Do we really believe in them?

In spite of the faults and weaknesses that we see in the ones we love, do we truly believe in the best for them? If we love someone we can’t show our love being critical of them. Instead we should encourage their dreams, their desires and their hopes.

 Do we hope for all things?

When things are at their darkest point we need to place our trust in God and not necessarily on the other person. At the same time, do we allow the Lord to work the situation or do we just give up at the first sign of being uncomfortable?  Let’s not forget that “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who has been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

So we know everything will be alright even on the darkest of nights. Remember, when Jesus came to earth, the worst that could happen to the apostles was to lose him and he died…but then he was resurrected. In every dead area of our lives we need to hold on to the hope that he will either will be resurrected or make it brand new.

Can we endure all things?

Life and relationships are not easy. Even identical twins are different human beings. We need to learn to accept people for who they are. When we are committed to love somebody, we need to be prepared for trouble to come, not because we want to, but because it’s life. Sometimes issues happen because a situation happens or because there’s a disagreement. When we truly love, regardless of the type of relationship, we need to be prepared to work through our issues instead of disregard the relationship. If we decide to love like Jesus did, let’s do the right thing and express true love.

Until next time… Be blessed.

WF: One thing remains

I was reading the bible the other day. It’s been a busy week. I’ve had family from out of town to celebrate my mother’s birthday. Of course I never forget about my main love, but have to admit that I have not dedicated as much time or attention as I usually do to my quiet time with God. So this particular morning in my prayer time I was thanking God for his love and for his patience.
Although I know God doesn’t want us in condemnation, I have not been able to grow to the point of not feeling guilty about the times when I don’t spend enough time with God. I have this feeling that I’m ignoring my father, my husband, my love and that he should be my priority.
So that’s why that morning I was thanking him for his patience with me on those days where I’m not the best daughter, his best wife and his best lover. Then I opened the Word and read in Psalm 118:1-4

Thank God because he’s good,

because his love never quits.

Tell the world, Israel,

“His love never quits.”

And you, clan of Aaron, tell the world,

“His love never quits.”

And you who fear God, join in,

“His love never quits”

I felt that it was an answer to my prayer. My love knows my heart. He knows that I am always thinking about him, that I’m always thanking him for how he provides for me in every aspect.  For that I’m grateful, for having a love that is really unconditional.
Join me in praising Him with this song that actually talks about how his love never fails and never quits on us.
Blessings


WF: Worship Friday

season (2)Also check out my novella “Season’s Greetings from Amelia” This great novella brings mystery, suspense and the best stocking stuffer for your favorite e-reader. You can get your copy for just 0.99 cents on Kindle,Smashwords and Nook only during the month of December.
Book Description
Daisy has the perfect life, beautiful children and a wonderful husband. And Christmas is right around the corner. Tis the season to be jolly… Or is it.
Daisy’s life is flipped upside down by strange letters that are sent to her by her best friend, Amelia. And as her life continues to quickly spiral out of control, she realizes that something BIG is about to happen. Can she put aside her confusion, hurt, and anger in order to solve a mystery that may have a horrific ending????
Can Daisy’s life ever return to normal regardless to whether she does or doesn’t?

Can being loved truly change someone?

Can being loved truly change someone?

By Naty Matos

In all kind of relationships we ask ourselves if loving someone would make them change their behavior. Some people try to manipulate, shame, and pressure others to make them behave in a certain way. Others try to serve, love, and support in hopes that the acceptance will make them see the error of their ways. But does it work?

I’ve learned through my life journey that nothing is black or white, and this is one of those areas where there’s a lot of gray involved. I believe that feeling loved can help someone be encourage to do better as long the love is corresponded. Love can also provide the necessary support for someone who wants to make changes in their live but doesn’t have the necessary tools. Loving counsel and guidance could be the key to growth and breakthrough.

But there’s the other side, where love is not received. I believe that you can be loved, but if you don’t receive the love it would have no impact or even can create an unhealthy relationship. People who do not desire to change or accept love will not look for those growth opportunities.

I believe that God’s love can change us. It says in John 3:16
”For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” But even in this scripture says that in order to have eternal life and receive what God has for us we have to believe in him. His love can change us, if we’re open to receive him.

Will love change Amelia’s heart? Will love be sufficient for Daisy to understand, to forgive, and deal with the revelations she has received? Find out in “Season’s Greetings for Amelia” A great novella and a possible stocking stuffer for the mystery/suspense reader in your family, for just $0.99

season (1)Daisy has the perfect life, beautiful children and a wonderful husband. And Christmas is right around the corner. Tis the season to be jolly… Or is it.
Daisy’s life is flipped upside down by strange letters that are sent to her by her best friend, Amelia. And as her life continues to spiral quickly out of control, she realizes that something BIG is about to happen. Can she put aside her confusion, hurt, and anger in order to solve a mystery that may have a horrific ending????
Can Daisy’s life ever return to normal if she does or doesn’t?

Don’t ever give up on love!

About four years ago I decided that I wanted to adopt a dog. I visited several rescue places but I couldn’t find one that would just be the one I wanted to take home. One afternoon a rescue place had their dogs at a pet store and I went to check it out and there she was. I stood about five feet away and looked at her for like thirty minutes. River was her name. She was a black lab. She looked friendly and quiet. One of the rescue volunteers placed her on a leash for me to walk her around. It was obvious she had no leash training and that she was way stronger than me as it was her dragging me instead of me leading her. I immediately fell in love with her and took her home.

Before we left the rescue volunteer told me some of her history. River was two years old, had been severely abused physically and emotionally. She still had scabs on her body from the abuse, which meant they were still kind of recent. She had been poisoned at some point, so unless she trusted the person feeding her, she would not eat. She was very introverted.

Well, just as expected, when we made it home she just went into a corner. Instead of fighting her into her crate she would stay there day and night even when the door remained open. If any men would approach her she would hide behind me. The first five days she didn’t eat. I was going crazy worried that she would get sick. I called the vet and she said that it was going to be ok, but my heart was breaking. The only time she was a little lively was when I would walk her and it was because she wanted to run away. It was a funny sight to see me being dragged by her through the neighborhood.

I bought every toy and treat I could find. I read about abused dogs. I took her to the park to socialize with other dogs; she would stay in a corner and do nothing. She didn’t eat the treats, she didn’t play with the toys, and she ignored the other dogs.

After a few days I sat with her in the floor of the kitchen and she came to me. I grabbed a few bits of her food and offered them with my hand and she finally ate. I cried; my baby was finally eating. For the next few days she ate only out of my hand, and then slowly we transitioned to the floor until she finally made it to her bowl. At the park, it had been a “family” effort amongst the regulars to get her socialized, so she was petted and given more attention than any other dog. Slowly she started playing alone with the toys I would bring to the park and even approaching people.

Unfortunately River is no longer with me, but what made me think of her today was the fact that sometimes people have been severely hurt by life and when someone comes into their life to pour love into them, they don’t know how to receive it. We do that to God all the time who loved us to the point of giving us his only son to die for us. Sometimes those hurting people can’t believe something good has happened to them and are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Be patient! Continue to pour your unconditional love into them, just like my River; they will slowly see that you really love them, than they are finally safe…that they are finally home!

Be blessed!

Book Review: Love Letters to my Queen Bride

llbookI think this has been one of the most challenging book reviews I’ve written recently. The reason for that is that I can’t find enough words to describe this book, but I think it can be summarized as live changing.

When I started reading this book I had to stop myself, this is not a book you read in one sitting. This book has to be savor in bits and pieces, no more than a letter a day. Each letter is so rich with love, energy and spiritual enlightenment.

On a day like today where people have chosen to celebrate true love, I chose to celebrate the source of Love, and this book is a great way to understand the Love of God. Love Letters are letters that seem written personally by the hand of God expressing in simple English his love, his need for us, the way he sees us and his purpose for our lives. This book is bible based and it speaks so much truth. I recommend this book for every woman and if you have teenage daughters, this is an awesome gift to give them. It’s never too early to understand where real love is found.

Now let’s meet the author behind this awesome book:

bethBeth Walker has been married to her husband, Ben, for over 40 years. She is the mother of three adult children and seven grandchildren that she adores.

After raising her children she founded a Christian counseling center where she served as director and counselor for sixteen years. She also founded and directed in her home town Drug Free Clubs for high risk youth at 23 sites. For over eleven years she has led an interdenominational worship group. She also has served as a Christian speaker, Sunday school teacher, and Eucharistic minister.

Among the various organizations that she has served as volunteer include the Board of the Montgomery Mental Health Association for twelve years and the Montgomery Board of Women’s Aglow International.

She is quick to say only through the help of the Holy Spirit was she able to do anything and will be able to do anything in the future. Her passion is Christ. She says, soaking in worship and then listening to Him, after knowing His word is the only way to go.

If you want to obtain a copy of his wonderful book just click on the picture above, but even better; if you want to win a Free copy of this book, today is your last day to enroll in our Giveaway. Go at the top to the Book Giveaway page and leave us your email. The winner will be announced this Friday.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Don’t wait to say I love you

I want to share with you a very personal story about one of my favorite Aunts. I have a huge family although it doesn’t seem so. I have cousins, aunts and uncles that I have not met and probably never will that’s how big my family is. We’re just not one of those close families, but if we decided to do a family reunion, we sure would need a stadium to hold it.

This particular aunt and my mother kept a close relationship telephonically as we were geographically ways apart. It was more than ten years ago and I was going through a very rough time and I needed to go away. I was at my mother’s house and she was talking to my aunt, to whom I had never spoken before and whom I had never seen before. I grabbed the phone and jokingly said, “I’m coming over”. She became excited and told me I was more than welcome to come. To make a long story short, I did make arrangements and went there.

It was funny when she went to pick me up at the airport, we had never seen each other, so we got on our cell phones until we were finally face to face. Although it was the first time we saw each other, I was home. I spent a week with her. She spoiled me rotten. After that week we kept in touch and she became the person I would go to when I needed encouragement. Even at a distance she became a second mom.

This past July I was supposed to come over to see her, but miscommunication made us miss the date and then I got so busy with the things around my new book that I never got around to make the arrangements to spend some time with her again. I had planned that this year I was going to make it there because I miss her, now its too late. She passed away this last Friday.

I do regret not having made a bigger effort to make that trip happen earlier. I do thank God for having given me the gift of knowing her and the love she gave me  the time I had her.

Rest in peace, Juliana!

The freedom to say no

Sometimes we confuse freedom with debauchery. We tell ourselves and others that we have the right to do as we please and as we want. The truth is that our Creator gave use freedom of choice, therefore in theory it is true, but when we exercise that freedom, do we do it in a way that is beneficial to us, or we do the first thing that feels good?
For the enemies of freedom, taking control and restraint is not the way to go. The consensus on that side is that there is no happiness in self-control and discipline, but in hindsight the lack of these usually brings us devastating consequences. Let’s just look at some brief examples of how these things can affect our lives.

Food buffet
I should be the last one to talk about this subject as I love to eat. Why do we have places that promote all you can eat? To survive we should not eat all we can eat. We can exercise the freedom of taking care of our bodies and eat healthy with using judgment into when and how much of little unhealthy things we consume. The reality is that not exercising self-control and discipline brings obesity, diseases and shortens our lifespan. If we shorten our lives we will miss on the blessings laid out for us, but also we would be in disobedience of fulfilling God’s purposes in our lives.
Sex
Have you ever heard someone say, I have the right to sleep with whomever I desire? Others say that they need to try until they find someone compatible in that area. Others excuse themselves because their marriages are not satisfying. Our creator calls us to purity in our intimate relations. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12” What some of those people forget is that our neighbor is our brother or sister and that we are to respect and see about them like if they were our family members. What comes out of promiscuity? Disease, emotional damage. This information is not only spiritually based. Read this scientific article on the consequences of promiscuity http://www.lifeissues.net/writers/she/she_29promiscuity.html
Drugs (legal or illegal)
Yes, there are legal drugs. Alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and prescription medications are some of the things that are at he reach of anyone, including believers. Illegal drugs have the society connotation of them not being allowed. How about those legal substances? Have you thought if you are a user or abuser of these substances? What are they doing in your life? Are you trying to not face some part of your life? ”Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own” 1Corinthians 6:19 NIV

Entertainment          
After a difficult day of work, we get to our homes and want to block our worlds out. All of the sudden we get consumed by mindless entertainment like our computers, television, and music; before we realize it we’re too tired to talk to God. He who gave us the 24 hours we just spent and the possibility to wake up the next day doesn’t get from us even praise. We usually say we don’t have time to do lots of things like exercise, volunteer, help others. Do you a favor? Just for this week, write down in a piece of paper the hours that you spend in front of the computer, video games or the television. Think how many nights you have deprived yourself from rest just to feed your flesh with enjoyment.
Remember that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial (1 Corinthians 6:12). Let’s use our freedom wisely and follow the teachings of our Lord so that we can enjoy the benefits of the real good life. We have the option and the freedom to say NO to a life of sin and devastation.

Be blessed.
Naty

Treating PLMS

With all new diseases and syndromes coming out on the media, it must be concerning to discover that you may have PLMS. However PLMS is a very old condition,as old as humankind itself. So what is PLMS? Poor Little Me Syndrome. It’s the root of jealousy and selfishness when the subject (meaning us) feeling sorry for themselves and comparing themselves to others. Let’s study this syndrome a little closer.

PLMS in biblical history:

  • Cain and Abel- We all know this is where it started. A brother jealous of not obtaining approval as his brother did. God even tells him, you did wrong this time, but practice, you’ll get it right (Gen 4:7). He didn’t respond back and resolved that if there was no other to look at, then he would get approved as there was no point of comparison.
  • Joseph- He was well regarded. His father loved him, he had a gift of revelations in dreams and they not only were jealous of him, but concern that he would have a higher position than they did. So they felt the need to get rid of him. They dumped him in a well to die. (Gen.37:2-20)
  • Jesus- The Pharisees where concern that Jesus was growing in popularity and challenged what they had established. They had control with the government on how things function and that was threaten with His teachings. (Matthew 12,15) Yes, Jesus came to die for us, so what was meant for evil God used it for good, but it was their jealousy that killed our Lord.

There are many examples through the bible, it would take me days and multiple postings to go through them all, but the bottom line, what’s the root cause of jealousy? Selfishness! When things are not about us, we feel threaten.

Diagnosing PLMS

PLMS is easy to diagnose. There’s no medication for it. Every time you start looking outside of your circumstances to your surroundings to find your worth, you’re in trouble.

Think about it:

  • The neighbor that buys what you can’t.
  • The co-worker that gets the promotion you wanted.
  • The family member that gets the attention that you desire
  • The spouse that doesn’t give you the desire attention and instead of fixing the problem you need to find your attention no matter what.
  • The “sinner” who gets a leadership position in your church when you’ve been a “saint” for years. (read
  • The childless mother about her mother friends
  • The single about the married and vice versa

Yes, this list can be exhaustive as well. Bottom line is if we’re honest with ourselves everyone has those feelings, how you act upon them and how long you dwell on them it’s what makes the difference.

 

How to treat PLMS:

  • Make a list of things you’re grateful for. (Hey if you’re breathing and reading this means you have internet and a computer…there you have three already. That’s a start!)
  • There’s ALWAYS someone in a worse situation than you are. Think about that.
  • Be realistic with your situation and see which things are you responsible for and which ones you are not.
  • Create a realistic work plan for those that can be changed.
  • Forgive others and yourself for those things that are outside of your hands
  • Get up and help someone else, not only they will appreciate it, but it will make you feel better about yourself and realize..its not all about YOU!
  • Since PLMS makes you think only about you, let’s do that. Spend time in meditation and prayer so that you can identify God’s plan for YOUR life. (One of the things I’ve learned is that my purpose is not my neighbors purpose and that in life I’ve wanted things that I’m glad I didn’t get because they were not going to align with those things God had planned for me)

 

Side Effects of this treatment

  • Peace
  • Self-Esteem
  • Sense of Satisfaction
  • Sense of Purpose

So when you start feeling that the symptoms of PLMS are starting to show, get your medicine . If nothing else works, try this:

Blessings

Patience

 Patience is defined in the dictionary as the ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. As humans we’re usually looking for what we want, in our time and in our way. When things don’t occur according to our expectation and timetable we tend to lose our temper. Some people are more expressive than others.

The reality is that losing our peace on difficult situations or with difficult people is rarely a productive use of energy and emotion. When has the line at the grocery store or the bank moved any faster just because you were inpatient about it? Did getting aggressive to the customer service representative on the phone get you anywhere? Have you ever been on the other side of that conversation?  It is very unproductive to abuse someone who has not directly caused your pain, who is trying to help you. There are times where those in position of service are not as helpful as we would want them to, how does being rude or inpatient will make the interaction go better.

Think about a time where you were not feeling at your best. You had a problem, you were anxious. Do you remember someone sitting with you while you ranted and patiently listen to all you had to say? Someone has had patience with you when you have been nervous, anxious, worried, sick, angry or else.

Do not allow external circumstances to take your peace and joy away. Be mindful that “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” and that “Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.” Overpower your emotions and live in the peace of your patience today.

Savage Chickens - Patience

Here are some things that can be done to go through some typical difficulties without loosing our sanity

Traffic

  • It’s not going to move any faster, I promise you. Try leaving early to any given destination that way if you come into unexpected conditions you still have a good chance to make it on time.
  • Play the radio and sing…LOUD! Yes, even if you have people with you in your car, have them join you in the song, everyone will be entertained.
  • Keep your eyes on the road and bless (for real!) those who cut in front of you. It must be very hard to have to go to the bathroom with such urgency.

At work

  • Lack of patience with clients or co-workers will always create more turmoil than benefit. The workplace is built to be supported by bridging solid relationships with others.
  • Keep something in your work area that reminds you of your reason to work; it could be a goal or a person or anything that gives you the strength to regain control and focus.

With your family

  • Those who you love have direct access to all your buttons. Remember, you have access to their buttons too. Think about their purpose in your life and your purpose in theirs. I have personally discovered that those who irritate me, it’s because there’s an area of my life that I need to develop. The reality is no matter if you’re five or five hundred, there’s always room for learning and growth.

Be blessed

Naty

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