Tag: life

Shame Detox: How to Recognize Toxic Shame and Start Healing at the Root

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

Have you ever caught yourself over-apologizing for simply taking up space, obsessing over a minor mistake, or feeling like no matter how much you accomplish, it is never quite enough? What if the loudest, harshest voice inside your head isn’t actually yours?

In our latest episode of Thrive, we sit down for a deeply raw, eye-opening conversation about the invisible weight so many of us carry: toxic shame.

Shame doesn’t just make you feel bad—it quietly rewrites your identity. It influences how you date, parent, communicate, and even how you pray. If you have ever felt trapped in a endless loop of perfectionism, performance, or self-criticism, this conversation was recorded specifically for you.

Here is a glimpse of what we unpack in this powerful episode, and why you need to tune in today.

1. What Shame Actually Is (And Why It’s Not Guilt)

Before you can heal shame, you have to define it. In the episode, we break down the critical difference between the signals your mind sends you:

  • Guilt says: “I did something wrong.”
  • Healthy shame says: “That behavior doesn’t align with who I want to be.”
  • Toxic shame says: “I am wrong.”

Toxic shame doesn’t just correct your actions; it attacks who you are. We discuss how shame is deeply embodied—triggering physical threat states like elevated cortisol, a tight chest, or avoided eye contact—and how to spot it when it masks itself as discipline or ambition.

2. How Shame Gets Installed Early

Children are not born believing they are defective. We explore the relational root causes—from emotional invalidation and public humiliation to fear-based messaging—that teach us to believe mistakes threaten our belonging.

When raised with discipline lacking emotional connection, a child internalizes a dangerous narrative: “If I fail, I lose love.” In this episode, we unpack how to recognize these early installations so you can finally stop passing them down.

3. How Shame Shows Up in Relationships & Marriage

Shame never stays buried; it leaks into adult life. It shows up as hyper-independence, emotional withdrawal, people-pleasing, or an anxious need to perform to be loved.

We also get real about relationships, appearance, and marriage. We talk through the hard truth that no milestone—no ring, baby, or house—can change another human being. You’ll learn how toxic shame makes you personalize relational problems (“If I were prettier or better, they’d treat me right”) and how to start grounding your worth in secure love rather than conditional acceptance.

4. Religious Trauma vs. True Grace

Why do so many people walk away from faith spaces? We tackle the heavy topic of religious trauma and shame-based theology.

From the double standards of public shaming to fear-based messaging, we contrast harmful institutional practices with the compassionate model set by Jesus with the woman at the well. You will learn the difference between godly conviction (which draws you toward repair and closeness) and self-condemnation (which pushes you into isolation and hiding).

5. Practical Steps to Detox Shame at the Root

Healing isn’t about pretending nothing happened; it’s about disrupting the belief system shame built. In this episode, we walk through actionable tools to help you:

  1. Name the Voice: Separate yourself from the critic, the prosecutor, or the old tape.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Move from self-attack to supportive self-talk.
  3. Reconnect with Your Body: Shift your posture, breathe, and allow yourself to be seen.
  4. Speak Truth to Safe People: Disarm shame by speaking it out loud in safe relationships.
  5. Rewrite Your Spiritual Narrative: Choose restoring grace over punishing condemnation.

Ready to Stop Hiding and Start Healing?

Healing is rarely instant—it’s about unlearning, building safety, and taking small steps toward freedom every single day. You are not a mistake, and you don’t have to carry this weight alone any longer.

🎧 Watch or listen to the full episode of Thrive now to begin your shame detox journey.

Loved this conversation? Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone in your life who needs a gentle reminder of their worth today!

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Tired of Chasing Happiness? How to Finally Reconnect with Real Joy

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

Have you ever found yourself aggressively chasing joy?

Maybe it looks like planning the perfect, stress-free weekend, scrolling through curated “good vibes only” social media feeds, or repeating positive affirmations in the mirror when you actually feel completely depleted. We treat joy like a prize to be won, a goal to be checked off, or a reward for finally getting our lives perfectly together.

But let’s be honest: Chasing joy is exhausting. And more often than not, the harder we run after it, the more elusive it becomes. Why? Because joy isn’t a destination, and it certainly isn’t something you can force.

In our latest episode of The Rising Muse, Reconnecting with Joy, we dive deep into why your pursuit of happiness might actually be pushing it away—and how to switch from chasing joy to gently receiving it.

The Science of Joy: It’s Not a Choice, It’s a Feeling of Safety

We’ve all heard the well-meaning advice: “Joy is a choice!” While that sounds inspiring on a coffee mug, it can actually feel incredibly dismissive when you are genuinely struggling.

Here is the truth we discuss in the episode: Joy is physiological.

Your body and your nervous system operate on a fundamental need for survival. If your body doesn’t feel safe, it cannot access or sustain a state of joy. When you are stuck in survival mode—anxious, overwhelmed, or burnt out—your brain prioritizes protection, not praise.

To experience true joy, we have to stop pressuring ourselves to feel “maximum happiness” and instead focus on cultivating a felt sense of safety in our daily lives. Joy is a slow, honest unfolding that happens when our nervous system finally feels secure enough to let its guard down.

Why You Need to Listen to This Episode

If you are tired of putting on a brave face or if you feel like a bystander in your own life, wondering where your spark went, this conversation was recorded specifically for you.

In this episode, we explore:

  • The Difference Between Chasing and Reconnecting: Why your current strategy for finding happiness might be burning you out.
  • The Physiology of Emotions: How your nervous system controls your capacity for joy, and how to gently signal safety to your body.
  • Lowering the Bar: How removing the pressure to feel “perfectly happy” actually clears the path for genuine, deep-rooted joy to return.

You don’t have to fix everything in your life before you’re allowed to experience lighter moments. You just need to learn how to create a safe space for joy to come back home.

Take a Breath. Tune In.

Give yourself permission to pause the hustle today. Grab a cup of tea, find a quiet spot, and let’s talk about how to breathe easy again.

🎧 Click here to listen to “Reconnecting with Joy” on your favorite podcast platform!

Want to dive deeper into our series on joy? Don’t forget to check out our companion episodes on how joy coexists with grief, how to build an unshakable foundation, and finding strength in scripture.

True Value in a World Obsessed with Numbers

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

As parents, we often find ourselves learning valuable lessons from our children, unexpected teachers in the school of life. This week, I had a simple yet profound encounter with my toddler while teaching him the names of coins—penny, dime, nickel, and quarter. Little did I know, this innocent lesson would unveil deeper truths about the nature of value in our lives.

I asked my three-year-old to arrange the coins in order of perceived value. His tiny hands meticulously placed the nickel ahead of the dime because, in his eyes, bigger meant better. It was a moment of innocence, but it carried a profound message: sometimes, our perception of value is skewed by superficial attributes like size or shine.

In reflecting on this, I couldn’t help but draw parallels to a recent incident I came across online. A professional, undoubtedly talented and passionate about her craft, was denied participation in a podcast simply because she lacked a substantial social media following. Her value was reduced to mere numbers, overlooking the quality of her content and the depth of her expertise.

It’s a sobering reality check—a reminder that in a world fixated on metrics and numbers, true worth often goes unnoticed. We’ve become conditioned to equate popularity with value, overlooking the substance beneath the surface. But what if, like my toddler’s perception of coins, our judgments are misguided? What if genuine talent, authenticity, and integrity hold more weight than mere numbers on a screen?

Scripture echoes this sentiment, urging us not to conform to the world’s standards of value and success. In Romans 12:2, we’re encouraged to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” It’s a call to recalibrate our understanding of value, to see beyond the superficial and embrace the intrinsic worth of each individual.

Furthermore, Proverbs 11:1 reminds us that “a false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight.” God’s perspective transcends worldly measures of worth; He sees the heart, not the external façade. In His eyes, true value lies in character, integrity, and the sincere pursuit of righteousness.

As we navigate a world that often distorts the true meaning of value, let us heed the lessons from a toddler’s innocent perspective. Let us resist the temptation to measure worth by external standards and instead seek the deeper truths that define genuine value. And above all, let us find solace in the unwavering truth that in God’s eyes, we are valued not for what we possess or portray, but for who we are—beloved children, cherished and esteemed beyond measure.

So, the next time you’re tempted to equate value with popularity or status, remember the lesson of the coins and the wisdom of Scripture. True worth cannot be quantified by numbers; it is found in the richness of character, the depth of integrity, and the purity of heart. In embracing this truth, we discover a freedom that transcends the fleeting measures of the world—a freedom rooted in the unshakable assurance of our infinite worth in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.

Until next time, be blessed.

Don’t forget to checkout our podcast Thrive by The Rising Muse where we get in depth conversations about faith, family and mental health.

He’s alive!

On By Naty MatosIn ArticlesLeave a comment

easter-empty-tombIt is time to rejoice! There’s a party in heaven and in earth. The best party ever. They saw him bleeding, battered and bruised. Once he had exhaled and taken down from the cross his breathless body lied in the arms of his mother who cleaned his face with her tears. He was probably getting cold real quick as he had lost so much blood.

A friend of the family had a tomb that had not been used and gave it for them to put his body in there. Because it was the Sabbath and nobody was supposed to do anything, everyone left. The women came the next day to do the habitual embalming of that time and guess what? He was nowhere to be found.

Some thought that maybe someone had stole his body and they were starting to feel sadness, but then two angels told the women that he had risen as he had promised.  (Rephrasing from Luke 23 and 24)

If we think about the purpose for which we were created and how well we doslide-02 (not really) and that even then we obtain redemption because on a day like today he lives. 

If we think about other religions who worship someone who was a prophet, but there is an actual grave site where their body lies. Or those who believe that an unanimated object is their god. We have a living, breathing, Almighty, All Powerful GOD!!!!

In life, He won! In death, He won! The movie has a happy ending. Rejoice, he’s alive, he’s risen from the dead, he won it for us.!!

Happy Resurrection Sunday!!

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational Thoughts7 Comments

Tonight was the season finale of this show that shows some celebrities’ at the most vulnerable moments in their life while recovering from their addictions. I’m sure some of the audience of this show wants to know the intimate secrets of these famous people, others watch as part of the inspiration of their own recovery process regardless of their personal type of struggle. It’s at moments like this when you realize the blessing of the anonymity. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to face your greatest demons in front of a camera. These are real human beings with real struggles and in a way it’s very admirable that they have place themselves in the same position of being icons, but this time to show their strength through their weaknesses.

Before the final episode, they showed some of the episodes from the previous weeks. The episode “Family Weekend” showed the mother of Layne Staley, former lead singer of Alice in Chains who passed away due to drug use, giving a very moving speech to those in rehab. The part that moved me the most was when she said that the best life they could live was to live ordinary boring lives. It reminded me about a lot of the reflections I’ve been doing this week about enjoying the simple things in life.

It’s not a matter of not having aspirations; it’s a matter of not idolizing those aspirations and enjoy the journey towards our goals. Once again, stopping to smell the roses and enjoy the color in them, including the thorns. Yes, those painful experiences in our lives that come to teach us valuable lessons. Slow down the pace. LIVE! Life is not just the enjoyments and pleasure of the moment or our possessions. Life is every moment in our life, every minute, every second, every relationship, every tear, every breath, every heartbreaking moment and every smile. We only have one shot at this ride; let’s live the true meaning that our Creator intended for our lives!

Disclaimer: picture taken from VH1