As I sat down to write about domestic violence, I couldn’t help but think of a story a friend shared with me. It’s not her personal experience, but rather the chilling tale of her conception, one that began on a night she was supposed to be remembered as her parents’ wedding night. The stark contrast between her parents’ joyous anticipation and the horrifying events that unfolded on that fateful evening serves as a stark reminder of the unseen darkness that can lurk behind closed doors.
Imagine the excitement of finally marrying the love of your life, someone you’ve saved yourself for, and the promise of a beautiful future together. Unfortunately, not everyone’s story has a fairytale ending. This couple, my friend’s parents, lacked the financial means to enjoy a lavish honeymoon, opting to spend their first night together in a small back room at her mother-in-law’s house.
Exhausted from the hustle and bustle of their wedding day, they decided to take a nap, but when my friend’s mother woke up, her new husband was dressed and ready to leave. Curiosity got the best of her, and she dared to ask where he was going. In a shocking turn of events, he lashed out, striking her, and knocking her unconscious, leaving her in a state of bewildered pain. The life she had dreamt of had turned into a nightmare, a horrifying reality that was far removed from the love she had anticipated.
This horrifying story serves as a stark reminder that domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of social status, education, age, or background. It is a pervasive issue that affects countless lives, and it’s essential that we address it with sensitivity and understanding.
As someone who has encountered domestic violence, I know the nagging question that often lingers: Why did I stay? In my case, shame was a powerful force. This wasn’t my first marriage, and I couldn’t bear to face the world and admit that I had “screwed up” again.
The truth is domestic violence is rarely this sudden and explosive. It often creeps into a relationship subtly, like the proverbial frog in a pot of slowly boiling water, as the temperature rises inch by inch. Victims may become accustomed to each stage of the abuse until they find themselves trapped.
What’s important to remember is that domestic violence knows no boundaries. It can affect anyone, irrespective of their social standing or circumstances. This harrowing story is just the beginning of our exploration into the world of domestic violence, and I invite you to join me on this journey. Together, we can raise awareness, identify the signs, and support those who are enduring the unimaginable. Buckle up, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride, but the destination is a world free from the shadows of domestic violence.
Stay safe, and let’s be the change we want to see in the world.
Naty Matos 