Tag: mental health

Shame Detox: How to Recognize Toxic Shame and Start Healing at the Root

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

Have you ever caught yourself over-apologizing for simply taking up space, obsessing over a minor mistake, or feeling like no matter how much you accomplish, it is never quite enough? What if the loudest, harshest voice inside your head isn’t actually yours?

In our latest episode of Thrive, we sit down for a deeply raw, eye-opening conversation about the invisible weight so many of us carry: toxic shame.

Shame doesn’t just make you feel bad—it quietly rewrites your identity. It influences how you date, parent, communicate, and even how you pray. If you have ever felt trapped in a endless loop of perfectionism, performance, or self-criticism, this conversation was recorded specifically for you.

Here is a glimpse of what we unpack in this powerful episode, and why you need to tune in today.

1. What Shame Actually Is (And Why It’s Not Guilt)

Before you can heal shame, you have to define it. In the episode, we break down the critical difference between the signals your mind sends you:

  • Guilt says: “I did something wrong.”
  • Healthy shame says: “That behavior doesn’t align with who I want to be.”
  • Toxic shame says: “I am wrong.”

Toxic shame doesn’t just correct your actions; it attacks who you are. We discuss how shame is deeply embodied—triggering physical threat states like elevated cortisol, a tight chest, or avoided eye contact—and how to spot it when it masks itself as discipline or ambition.

2. How Shame Gets Installed Early

Children are not born believing they are defective. We explore the relational root causes—from emotional invalidation and public humiliation to fear-based messaging—that teach us to believe mistakes threaten our belonging.

When raised with discipline lacking emotional connection, a child internalizes a dangerous narrative: “If I fail, I lose love.” In this episode, we unpack how to recognize these early installations so you can finally stop passing them down.

3. How Shame Shows Up in Relationships & Marriage

Shame never stays buried; it leaks into adult life. It shows up as hyper-independence, emotional withdrawal, people-pleasing, or an anxious need to perform to be loved.

We also get real about relationships, appearance, and marriage. We talk through the hard truth that no milestone—no ring, baby, or house—can change another human being. You’ll learn how toxic shame makes you personalize relational problems (“If I were prettier or better, they’d treat me right”) and how to start grounding your worth in secure love rather than conditional acceptance.

4. Religious Trauma vs. True Grace

Why do so many people walk away from faith spaces? We tackle the heavy topic of religious trauma and shame-based theology.

From the double standards of public shaming to fear-based messaging, we contrast harmful institutional practices with the compassionate model set by Jesus with the woman at the well. You will learn the difference between godly conviction (which draws you toward repair and closeness) and self-condemnation (which pushes you into isolation and hiding).

5. Practical Steps to Detox Shame at the Root

Healing isn’t about pretending nothing happened; it’s about disrupting the belief system shame built. In this episode, we walk through actionable tools to help you:

  1. Name the Voice: Separate yourself from the critic, the prosecutor, or the old tape.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Move from self-attack to supportive self-talk.
  3. Reconnect with Your Body: Shift your posture, breathe, and allow yourself to be seen.
  4. Speak Truth to Safe People: Disarm shame by speaking it out loud in safe relationships.
  5. Rewrite Your Spiritual Narrative: Choose restoring grace over punishing condemnation.

Ready to Stop Hiding and Start Healing?

Healing is rarely instant—it’s about unlearning, building safety, and taking small steps toward freedom every single day. You are not a mistake, and you don’t have to carry this weight alone any longer.

🎧 Watch or listen to the full episode of Thrive now to begin your shame detox journey.

Loved this conversation? Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone in your life who needs a gentle reminder of their worth today!

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⚡ Unlocking the Power of Anger: Reclaim Your Boundaries & Authenticity

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

Are you constantly told that being angry is “unladylike,” “dramatic,” or dangerous?

If you’ve been suppressing your feelings just to keep the peace, you aren’t alone. Many women have been conditioned to turn their anger inward—leading to chronic anxiety, exhaustion, physical flare-ups, and a deep loss of self.

But what if anger isn’t the problem? What if it’s actually your greatest superpower?

The Hidden Truth About Women & Anger

Anger is not a character flaw. Neurologically and spiritually, it is a vital boundary signal designed to protect your peace, uphold your worth, and point you back toward your authentic self. When we swap the toxic “good girl” myth for gentle assertiveness, everything changes.

In this powerful episode, we’re unpacking:

  • Why We Internalize: How cultural conditioning teaches women to choose silent compliance over safety.
  • The Body Cues: How to recognize somatic warning signs (jaw clenching, tight chest) before you explode or shut down.
  • Assertiveness vs. Aggression: How to set rock-solid boundaries clearly, calmly, and without guilt.
  • Righteous Anger: A fresh, liberating look at how spiritual strength and emotional honesty walk hand-in-hand.

“Your anger was never the enemy — silence was.”

Ready to rewrite the story and reclaim your power?

Stop swallowing your truth to make others comfortable. Tune in to the latest episode now to learn practical, trauma-informed steps to transform your anger into your strongest asset.

🎧 Watch the Full Show Here

Loved this week’s episode insight? Help us unlock our next level of community care by subscribing to our YouTube channel today!

Sow a seed into this ministry to help us spread His light and transform lives—click here to join our mission today!

When Therapy Works — Even When It Feels Heavy: Understanding the True Path to Healing

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

Ever leave a therapy session feeling completely exhausted, emotionally exposed, or wondering, “Is this even working?” 🛋️💔

You entered this journey looking for an immediate exhale, but instead, it feels like the volume on your emotions just got turned up.

Here is the truth: Feeling worse does not mean you are failing. It means the deep work is beginning.

True healing doesn’t unfold at the speed of light—it unfolds at the speed of safety. It is a layered, non-linear journey of cleaning out old wounds so they can finally heal cleanly from the inside out. In this powerful episode, we peel back the curtain on the invisible signs of emotional growth and dismantle the biggest myths about mental health, faith, and progress.

What We’re Breaking Down in This Episode:

  • The “Feeling Worse” Paradox: Why hitting emotional resistance and uncovering hidden patterns (like using distractions to escape feelings of inadequacy) is actually a sign of profound momentum.
  • Faith & Therapy: How to navigate the spiritual tension of vulnerability and embrace the truth that seeking support doesn’t mean your faith is weak—it clarifies it.
  • The Myth of the Finish Line: Why healing isn’t a race to a perfect destination, but a sustainable practice of becoming more honest and compassionate with yourself.
  • Between-Session Care: Practical grounding exercises to soothe your nervous system when the emotional heavy-lifting follows you home.

Progress isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it’s just a quiet pause before you react, a boundary you finally set, or the grace you give yourself to rest.

Are you ready to stop rushing your process and trust your pace?

✨ [Watch the Full Episode Here] to discover the unseen signs that you are growing—even when it feels slow.

Brought to you by The Rising Muse, LLC. Don’t forget to subscribe to our channel and join our community growth challenge as we hit our next milestone! 🎧🌱

Tired of Chasing Happiness? How to Finally Reconnect with Real Joy

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

Have you ever found yourself aggressively chasing joy?

Maybe it looks like planning the perfect, stress-free weekend, scrolling through curated “good vibes only” social media feeds, or repeating positive affirmations in the mirror when you actually feel completely depleted. We treat joy like a prize to be won, a goal to be checked off, or a reward for finally getting our lives perfectly together.

But let’s be honest: Chasing joy is exhausting. And more often than not, the harder we run after it, the more elusive it becomes. Why? Because joy isn’t a destination, and it certainly isn’t something you can force.

In our latest episode of The Rising Muse, Reconnecting with Joy, we dive deep into why your pursuit of happiness might actually be pushing it away—and how to switch from chasing joy to gently receiving it.

The Science of Joy: It’s Not a Choice, It’s a Feeling of Safety

We’ve all heard the well-meaning advice: “Joy is a choice!” While that sounds inspiring on a coffee mug, it can actually feel incredibly dismissive when you are genuinely struggling.

Here is the truth we discuss in the episode: Joy is physiological.

Your body and your nervous system operate on a fundamental need for survival. If your body doesn’t feel safe, it cannot access or sustain a state of joy. When you are stuck in survival mode—anxious, overwhelmed, or burnt out—your brain prioritizes protection, not praise.

To experience true joy, we have to stop pressuring ourselves to feel “maximum happiness” and instead focus on cultivating a felt sense of safety in our daily lives. Joy is a slow, honest unfolding that happens when our nervous system finally feels secure enough to let its guard down.

Why You Need to Listen to This Episode

If you are tired of putting on a brave face or if you feel like a bystander in your own life, wondering where your spark went, this conversation was recorded specifically for you.

In this episode, we explore:

  • The Difference Between Chasing and Reconnecting: Why your current strategy for finding happiness might be burning you out.
  • The Physiology of Emotions: How your nervous system controls your capacity for joy, and how to gently signal safety to your body.
  • Lowering the Bar: How removing the pressure to feel “perfectly happy” actually clears the path for genuine, deep-rooted joy to return.

You don’t have to fix everything in your life before you’re allowed to experience lighter moments. You just need to learn how to create a safe space for joy to come back home.

Take a Breath. Tune In.

Give yourself permission to pause the hustle today. Grab a cup of tea, find a quiet spot, and let’s talk about how to breathe easy again.

🎧 Click here to listen to “Reconnecting with Joy” on your favorite podcast platform!

Want to dive deeper into our series on joy? Don’t forget to check out our companion episodes on how joy coexists with grief, how to build an unshakable foundation, and finding strength in scripture.

Why Your “Rough Edges” Are Your Greatest Strength

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

As the host of the Rough Edges podcast, Sarah doesn’t just talk about mental health—she challenges us to look at it through a completely different lens. In this episode, we dive into one of the most powerful perspectives we’ve ever hosted: Viewing Bipolar Disorder as a love letter, not a stigma.

Why you can’t miss this episode:

  • Faith Meets Psychology: We tackle the man-made stigma that says you have to choose between a prayer closet and a therapist’s office.
  • Beyond the Label: Sarah shares how she transformed a Bipolar 1 diagnosis into a source of power and advocacy.
  • Real Talk on “Justice-Involved” Healing: With her background in Forensic Psychology, Sarah provides an unfiltered look at systemic struggles and the path to genuine restoration.

Sarah’s joy is infectious, and her message is clear: doing the healing work is messy, raw, and absolutely worth it.

Whether you’re navigating your own mental health journey or supporting someone else, this conversation will give you the tools to stop filtering your truth and start thriving in your “rough edges.”

Resources: Connect with Sarah and her podcast at roughedgespodcast.com and follow her on social media @RoughEdgesWithSarah for inspiration and community.

👉 [Watch the full episode here]

Understanding Obesity: Beyond Willpower and Shame

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

If you’re tired of hearing that weight loss is just about discipline or that failing to shed pounds is a moral failing, you’re not alone. The relentless emphasis on willpower often overlooks the complex biological, psychological, and societal factors at play. This comprehensive guide challenges common misconceptions around obesity, explores the science behind weight management, and offers actionable insights to support a more compassionate approach.

The Hidden Layers of Obesity: Disease, Trauma, and Inflammation

Obesity isn’t simply a matter of eating too much or moving too little. It is a chronic relapsing disease characterized by ongoing biological processes that resist quick fixes. The Disease Model of Obesity. Many medical organizations recognize obesity as a disease—an active, inflammatory endocrine disorder. Excess adipose tissue secretes cytokines, which promote inflammation and disrupt normal hormonal signals like leptin and insulin. These disruptions lead to increased hunger, decreased satiety, and metabolic resistance, making weight loss more complicated than calories in versus calories out. Trauma and Obesity Connection Anecdotal evidence suggests a significant link between trauma—such as sexual harassment or childhood abuse—and obesity, especially in women. Trauma can lead to emotional eating or weight gain as a protective mechanism against psychological distress. Addressing trauma is crucial for long-term weight management, yet it remains overlooked in traditional weight loss paradigms.

Rethinking Weight Loss: Willpower vs. Biological Reality

The prevailing view that weight loss is purely about discipline ignores the biology that works against us. Remember, obesity involves complex feedback loops:

  • Metabolic Adaptation: Every effort to lose weight triggers the body’s survival mechanisms, which reduce energy expenditure and increase hunger.
  • Set Point Theory: Your body resists permanent weight change by adjusting internal signals, making long-term maintenance challenging.
  • Inflammation: Excess fat contributes to systemic inflammation, further disrupting metabolism and hormones like insulin, leptin, and ghrelin.

This opposition explains why many people struggle despite their best efforts, and why punitive “eat less, move more” advice often backfires.

The Power of Medications and Lifestyle Medicine

Fortunately, advances in pharmacology are transforming obesity treatment. Drugs like GLP-1 receptor agonists (e.g., Wegovy, Ozempic, Tirzepatide) have shown remarkable effectiveness in suppressing appetite, reducing weight, and improving metabolic health. How Do GLP-1 Medications Work? Originally developed for diabetes, these medications impact gut-brain signaling pathways that regulate hunger and satiety. They not only facilitate weight loss but also confer cardioprotective benefits, especially in postmenopausal women. The Question of “Cheating” Using medication to manage hunger is not cheating—it’s utilizing available tools to improve health, much like someone with diabetes uses insulin. Obesity is a disease; treating it with medications should be normalized, not stigmatized.

The Psychological Dimension: Self-Love and Support

Addressing weight from a purely physical perspective neglects the critical psychological elements. Self-compassion, positive body image, and supportive communities are foundational for sustainable change. Love Yourself at Every Size. Stepping into a healthier weight involves not only physical adjustments but also reshaping internal narratives. Recognize your worth regardless of size, and practice self-love as you pursue health. Cultivating Support Systems: Surround yourself with people who uplift you—support groups, friends, or healthcare providers who understand the science and prioritise your well-being. Avoid environments that promote food noise or shame.

The Intersection of Society, Media, and Beauty Standards

Cultural standards heavily influence perceptions of beauty, often to the detriment of health. The glorification of thinness, unrealistic ideals, and diet culture can lead to disordered eating, shame, and mental health struggles. Recognizing and challenging these narratives is part of the journey toward holistic health.

Moving Forward: Practical Steps for Sustainable Weight Management
  1. Get a Comprehensive Medical Evaluation
    Understand your hormonal health, inflammation markers, and any underlying conditions. Collaborate with providers who acknowledge obesity as a disease.
  2. Consider Medication as Part of Your Toolkit
    Informed discussions with a knowledgeable healthcare provider can open doors to medications like GLP-1 agonists, which have been proven safe and effective for many.
  3. Address Psychological and Trauma-Related Factors
    Seek professional help if trauma or emotional eating impedes your progress. Supporting mental health is key to physical changes.
  4. Adopt a Compassionate, Sustainable Lifestyle
    Emphasize whole foods, manageable activity, hydration, sleep, and stress management. Extinguish food noise and nurture your self-esteem.
  5. Build a Supportive Community
    Engage with groups or professionals who reinforce positive change without shame or blame.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey of Self-Care

The path to health is iterative, often non-linear, and uniquely yours. It requires embracing science, compassion, and patience. Remember—your worth isn’t defined by a number on the scale. If you’re considering medical intervention to support your weight loss journey, do so with informed guidance and self-love at the forefront. Treatment is about reclaiming your health, not conforming to societal pressures.

Watch the full conversation: here
Want to learn more about body positivity and health?

About Dr. Michelle Gordon

Dr. Michelle Gordon (affectionately known as “Dr. G”) is a board-certified former surgeon who traded the operating room for a mission to transform metabolic health. After spending 15 years running a multi-million dollar surgical practice, Dr. Gordon experienced a profound life “relaunch” following burnout and the COVID-19 pandemic. Today, she is a leading expert in Menopause Management, Medical Weight Loss, and Lifestyle Medicine.

As the founder of The Menopause Movement and The Meno System, she specializes in de-stigmatizing obesity by treating it as a complex biological disease rather than a character flaw. Her holistic “Kitchen Therapy” approach empowers women and high achievers to reclaim their health through mindset, habit change, and sustainable behavior modification.

Connect with Dr. Gordon:

Frequently Asked Questions

Is weight loss solely about willpower?

Not at all. Obesity involves complex hormonal, inflammatory, and psychological factors. Willpower alone cannot overcome biological resistance—medications and supportive lifestyle changes are essential.

Can trauma really influence weight?

Yes. Trauma, especially in women, has been linked to emotional eating, weight gain, and altered cortisol levels, which promote visceral fat accumulation.

Are medications like GLP-1 safe long-term?

Research indicates that GLP-1 receptor agonists are safe for long-term use under medical supervision, with additional benefits like improved cardiovascular health.

Does menopause make weight loss harder?

Absolutely. Hormonal fluctuations during menopause and perimenopause promote visceral fat accumulation and metabolic shifts that challenge weight management efforts.

Is it too late to start hormone therapy or medications?

Not at all. Early or late, individualized treatment plans can improve quality of life, reduce health risks, and support sustainable weight management.

Remember:

Your health journey is unique and sacred. Seek support, prioritize self-love, and use all available tools to thrive.

Understanding Adult ADHD

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

Signs, Strategies, and Hope for Change

Do you ever feel like your brain has 47 tabs open — and none of them are loading properly?

If you struggle with forgetfulness, impulsivity, restlessness, or difficulty starting tasks, you may have wondered about the cause. Is this anxiety… or could it be ADHD?

In this episode, we sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Tamar Shtrambrand to unpack what adult ADHD really looks like — especially the signs that often go unnoticed.

Because here’s the truth:
Adult ADHD is frequently misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or masked for years — particularly in women.

We explore:

  • The subtle but persistent signs of adult ADHD
  • Why starting tasks can feel harder than completing them
  • What “brain chatter” actually means
  • How ADHD differs from anxiety (and why the two often get confused)
  • Why many women aren’t diagnosed until adulthood

Dr. Tamar explains that ADHD isn’t about laziness or lack of discipline. It’s about how the brain regulates attention, transitions, and executive function. For many adults, the pattern has been there for years… they’ve just learned to adapt, compensate, or blame themselves.

We also dive into:

  • Practical, non-medication management strategies
  • The role of sleep, nutrition, and movement
  • Emotional regulation tools that actually help
  • When medication might be considered
  • And the surprising strengths of the ADHD brain

Because ADHD isn’t just a list of challenges.

It’s also creativity. Vision. Passion. Deep empathy. Innovative thinking.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated with yourself for not “having it together,” this episode offers clarity, validation, and hope. Understanding your brain isn’t a label — it’s a doorway to working with yourself instead of against yourself.

🎧Tune in to learn how to recognize the signs. Explore practical tools. Discover how an ADHD brain can thrive with the right support.

Biblical Stories Through a Psychological and Trauma-Informed Lens

On By Naty MatosIn ThriveLeave a comment

An Invitation to Deeper Understanding

Have you ever read a Bible story and wondered, What does this have to do with my anxiety? How does it relate to my waiting season? Or what about my trauma?

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from scripture, this episode is for you. It’s also for you if you feel overwhelmed by rigid interpretations that don’t leave space for your emotional reality.

In this conversation, we explore biblical narratives through a psychological lens. We also use a trauma-informed approach. We uncover something powerful: these stories are deeply human. They are filled with emotions such as fear, delay, shame, and longing. Experiences of betrayal and identity struggles are also present. In the middle of it all, there is a divine presence.

We revisit the journeys of:

  • David — anointed but overlooked, called but hidden
  • Joseph — betrayed, imprisoned, yet formed in the waiting
  • Hannah — grieving, longing, and praying through shame
  • Samaritan woman at the well — hiding in plain sight, yet met with compassion instead of condemnation

Through a trauma-informed perspective, we discuss:

  • How biblical delays may shape identity, not signal failure
  • Why avoidance and shame are survival strategies — not spiritual weakness
  • How honest prayer becomes a pathway to healing
  • What attachment, safety, and divine presence really mean for your mental health

This episode isn’t about rewriting scripture.
It’s about reading it with compassion.

It’s about recognizing that God meets people in caves, prisons, wells, and waiting seasons. God does not meet them only in miracles and mountaintops.

If your faith feels complicated…
If your story feels unfinished…
If you’re longing for a deeper, emotionally honest relationship with God…

🎧 Tune in to hear how psychology and scripture can coexist. Discover how viewing biblical stories through a trauma-informed lens might transform the way you see your pain. This perspective can also alter your process and your faith.

Building Emotional Safety and Deep Connection in Relationships: Insights from Dr. Dan Schneider

On By Naty MatosIn Thrive1 Comment

Why do so many arguments feel like they go in circles?

You start talking about dishes, tone, or timing… and somehow it turns into something much bigger. The truth is, most relationship conflict isn’t about the surface issue. It’s about what’s happening underneath — the hurt spots, fears, and emotional wounds that get triggered when we feel unsafe.

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Dan Schneider to unpack one powerful truth: emotional safety is the foundation of lasting intimacy.

When emotional safety is missing, even small misunderstandings can feel threatening. But when it’s present, couples can:

  • Express needs without fear of criticism
  • Disagree without escalating
  • Repair trust after hurt
  • Rebuild closeness even after setbacks

Dr. Schneider shares practical, research-backed tools to help couples:

  • Communicate without spiraling into blame
  • Identify and talk about “hurt spots” before they explode
  • Make daily “trust deposits” that strengthen the connection
  • Use structured conversations that actually lead somewhere
  • Reignite intimacy through intentional moments of connection

One of the most powerful ideas he introduces? Trust is like a piggy bank. Every honest conversation and consistent action is a deposit. But when trust is broken, the coins spill out — and repair requires intentional rebuilding.

If you’ve ever thought:

  • “Why do we keep having the same fight?”
  • “How do we rebuild after trust has been shaken?”
  • “Is it possible to feel close again?”

This episode is for you.

We’re not just talking about avoiding conflict. We’re talking about transforming it — using it as a doorway to deeper understanding, stronger emotional safety, and lasting intimacy.

Dr. Dan Sneider, Ed.D. is a couples therapist and educator. He is also the creator of The Intimacy Shift, a 12-week program helping couples rebuild emotional safety and lasting connection.
Dr. Sneider blends Emotionally Focused Therapy, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, neuroscience, and practical communication tools. His approach is structured, compassionate, and deeply rooted in helping partners understand themselves and each other in a new way.

To contact Dr. Sneider: https://intimacyshift.com/

Visitors to his website will get FREE access to my ‘6 Keys to Unlocking Intimate Conversations with Your Partner.’ It is a unique 12-page PDF. It includes templates, tools, and practices to transform your relationship.Here are links to his socials also: Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, and Facebook.

🎧 Tune in to hear how small, intentional shifts can radically change the emotional climate of your relationship. Discover why vulnerability is the missing piece to the connection you’ve been craving.