COVID 19 – Naty Matos

If you think that not being able to go out is the worst part of social isolation during the Covid-19 crisis, there’s a lot you’re missing. Yes, a lot of people are struggling financially, but there’s another group that on top of all the very difficult situation are having to deal with a more painful reality, they can’t be with their loved ones in their moment of need.

Due to the high level of contagious from this virus, if you have a family member in the hospital, or any other type of medical institution, regardless of the diagnose, you’re banned from visiting your loved one. This has been a reasonable decision, but not any less difficult for the loved ones of that patient and the patient themselves.

Our current reality is that some people have died alone. Others are deteriorating just by the fact that their isolation is causing depressing feelings.

I can relate to this. My mother has been bounced between rehab and the hospital since mid-February. Originally, she had a stroke. She spent days in the hospital and moved to rehab. Few days while in rehab, she had a fever and went back to the hospital to discover she had an UTI (urinary tract infection). She went back to rehab, where she developed fever again but now with some respiratory issues. At this point, visits to rehab had been cancelled and I talking on the phone was my only way of communication. She went back to the hospital; she was tested for Covid-19 but the results took forever. She had a positive test, but she’s medically much better. The issue I’m facing now is what are the next steps? She’s not well enough to come home, not because of the virus, but because of the stroke. No rehab will accept her until she has a negative result on the test. We’re currently in limbo.

As someone with an elderly mother, I totally know how to advocate on her behalf, but this is the first time I’ve had to do it at a distance. I can relate to the feeling of powerlessness, and the fact that you truly have to trust God and the medical professionals to do their part because there. is . nothing. you. can.do.

But yes, there is, and I want to share with you some things that have kept my sanity and some illusion of control over the situation.

Call the nurses – I admit that I felt bad doing this because I know they’re overwhelmed. I’ve been lucky enough to have very sweet nurses that always encourage me to call as many times as I want. I don’t abuse it. I tend to call once on each shift for an update, that way I’m not bothering the same person.
Be prepared – Remember that your loved one is not the only person that they’re tending to. More than likely they’re also receiving several calls from family members all the time. Have your questions ready, that way you can shoot them and get off the phone as soon as you can.
Talk to the doctor – As sweet as the nurses were, they didn’t have much medical information for me. My calls to the nurses were more related to: How did she sleep? Is she eating? Is her breathing better? Is she taking her medication? (at one point she was spitting it out) My questions were more geared to the day to day welfare check. The doctor is the one making decisions, telling you what tests he ordered, what where the results. He can explain the rationale between changing or adding a particular medication to the regime. He’s the one that can give you prognosis and estimate timeliness. Be also prepared for this call, they have even less time to talk to you than the nurses.
Did I mention call? – The reason why this bears repeating is that if you wait to hear from the hospital you may be sitting there for a long time. You must do the outreach. I’m not going to say that I haven’t received unexpected calls from the hospital, but I did most of the calling to make sure that I knew what I needed to know and that I could provide as much of what I knew of my mother for them to have necessary information to adequately deal with her needs.
Be nice – We’re all stressed out. Don’t be short or inpatient with those taking care of your loved one. These people have families too and are risking their lives to take care of the one you love. Be kind, patient and thank them for their sacrifice.
Pray – That is something you can always do. Pray for your peace of mind. Pray for the health of the one you love, but don’t be stingy, also for those others who are in the hospital. God has enough to give, be generous with your prayer. Finally, for the medical health professionals and their families.

We’ll get through this. I’m realistic. I can’t promise you that we will be back to puppies and rainbows. But, did we really have puppies and rainbows before this crisis? No, we were all struggling in one way or another and making it. The same way we will make it this time. Maybe somewhat banged up, but with a better testimony that when we started.

Be safe beloved

Naty

*cough* *cough* pfftt!! No worries, I’m not sick. I’m just trying to dust this place. Wow, it’s been more than a year since we’ve been able to check on each other. Time really flies. Now this is not necessarily an update post, we can do some of that in the next few weeks. But let’s talk about what’s really in front of us.

People, there’s a virus out there! I know, this came super fast and we’re having to adapt very quickly to a new normal. From someone who doesn’t like change, trust me is not easy.

Now, I must admit, that the last year of my life was a training for quarantine. Right now, my mom is in the hospital and although I’m concerned for her; I’m technically just responsible for me right now. My heart goes out to all of you with big families having to balance many things.

Everyone is getting how to’s on taking care of yourself physically, but let’s not forget that we’re not solely a body; we also have a mind and soul. Let me try to give you some pointers on how not to lose it right now. (I need them more than you)

Stay away from the news! – Now, I’m not going to tell you to not be up to date with what’s going on. We must know what’s happening. From experience, when something big is going on, I start binge watching news outlets, and searching through social media during commercials. I’m obsessive and crazy, but you already knew that. That’s not going to help you. That’s not going to keep you or your family any safer. Restrict your diet of news to once or twice a day to catch an update and do something else the rest of the time.
Try something new or finish something old – Keeping ourselves busy helps with not dwelling into our anxiety thoughts. The actress Gwyneth Paltrow said she’s learning a new language. I had started that before the crisis. I’ve been relearning French for the last 4 months. If you’re interested, there’s an app, Duolingo, that makes that possible for free, just 15 minutes a day. If that’s not what interest you, go to that pile of books that you were going to read one day, the book you were going to write, the diy project that has been on hold; watch cartoons. Resurrecting this blog is one of mine, lol
Fill your life with music. I haven’t met someone who doesn’t like music. If you don’t like music, there’s something wrong with you, go fix yourself! Music allows us to connect our spirits with something higher than us. Now listen to something uplifting and not chaotic or depressing. That will defeat the purpose. Below I share one of my favorite songs.

Remember who you are – Try to connect to that part of you that has conquered challenges in life. For my fellow believers, I had to go back to the Word and remind myself the promises of God.

After reading this I remembered how many times my life has been in danger and how God has delivered and protected me every single time. He’s still God and in the throne. What shall I fear?

Be wise! – Not being afraid doesn’t mean to forfeit wisdom. Stay your happy self at home. Wash your blessed hand. Worship at home. God is not in a building, it’s in YOU!
Stay connected– Social isolation is really a bad term. It should be named physical isolation. Again, keep your happy self at home and away from anyone who doesn’t share your address. But make phone calls, have family meetings via web conference, write a snail mail. Connect, connect, connect.

We’re in a time in which we need to take a step back from pushing through the grind, to place ourselves in perspective, so that we can move forward in an emotional and spiritually healthier way.

Stay safe my beloved. God Bless!

Naty