By Veda Green

Fatherhood is a cornerstone of a child’s development, providing stability, love, and guidance that are essential for growing into well-rounded adults. This isn’t just about being a father to boys; girls also need strong, loving father figures in their lives. The story shared here reflects the deep impact a “girl dad” can have, highlighting the vital role fathers play in nurturing their daughters.

My Story: The Importance of a Girl Dad

I needed a girl dad. But my dad was not able to fulfill that need. He served in the United States Army and fought in the Vietnam War in 1963. When he returned, his body was the same, but his mind wasn’t. Initially, this wasn’t evident, but the signs of his mental struggles gradually surfaced. My mom spent years making excuses and denying the physical and mental abuse. It wasn’t until I told her that dad was abusing me that she decided to leave him and filed for divorce. My childhood was horrible, and my teenage years were tough.

I needed a girl dad. I needed a dad who loved me the way that God designed a father and daughter’s relationship. I needed a dad who would make me feel safe inside and outside of our home. I needed bedtime stories, pretending to drink tea with my tea set, falling asleep in his lap, running to him when I was scared or sad, and playing with me while teaching me how I was supposed to be treated and not settling for less. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that. But there was a “ram in the bush.”

My granddaddy stepped in and showed me what I needed looked like. He was a big man, tall and wide, with dark chocolate skin and the longest, most beautiful eyelashes. I wished they were mine. He had a big presence but was a gentle soul. He never laid his hands on grandma in anger. When he got upset, he would get his baseball cap hanging on the back door knob and go walking or sit on the front porch in his favorite chair. Grandma did all the yelling in the house at granddad, but I never heard him raise his voice to her.

Whenever I went to their house and he was sitting on the porch, I would give him what he called “my daily duty.” That was a big kiss on his cheek and a big hug! I felt so safe when I was with my granddaddy. The coolest thing was when I kissed him, money fell out of his pocket. It was like magic! He told me that I gave such good kisses and hugs that it made the change fall out of his pocket.

My mom would tell me how he treated her when she was growing up. Mom told me the story about when she started her menstrual cycle. When she told grandma that she had started, grandma fainted! I laughed so hard! Then she told me that granddaddy was the one who showed her how to wear her sanitary pads. Back in the 50s, pads were worn with a belt securing the front and the back. “I know, right? Thank God for adhesive tape.” She told me he would take their socks and open the oven door to warm them up. So when they put them on a cold winter morning, they would be nice and toasty.

These are just a couple of the many stories they had about my granddad and what a wonderful father he was. I used to say I wanted to marry a man like granddaddy. I loved the way he took care of not only grandma but his two daughters and one son. He would make sure that they were dressed nicely while he wore old coveralls to church. Even when mom and Auntie Ann became adults, they still loved on their dad, and he loved on them. I’m so glad that I had my granddaddy to show me how I was supposed to be treated and how to treat others with love and respect. I pray that you were blessed with a girl dad (whether it’s your dad, step-dad, granddad, uncle, or brother). I needed a girl dad, and God gave me one—my granddaddy!

Why Fathers Matter?

For Boys

Fathers play a crucial role in shaping their sons’ lives. Boys often look to their fathers as role models, learning how to navigate the world through their guidance. Fathers teach boys about respect, responsibility, and how to treat others. Studies have shown that boys who grow up with involved fathers are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more likely to perform well academically.

For Girls

The role of a father in a girl’s life is equally significant. Fathers provide a sense of security and set the standard for how girls expect to be treated by others, particularly men. A positive father-daughter relationship can boost a girl’s self-esteem and confidence. Girls with active, loving fathers are more likely to develop healthy relationships and have a better sense of self-worth.

Fatherless homes have become an increasing concern in society. Statistics reveal the stark realities of growing up without a father. Children from fatherless homes are more likely to experience poverty, behavioral problems, and academic challenges. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor, and girls are seven times more likely to become pregnant as teens.

The Bible provides clear guidance on the role of fathers. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This scripture emphasizes the importance of nurturing and guiding children with love and patience. Proverbs 22:6 adds, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it,” underscoring the long-lasting impact of a father’s guidance.

In conclusion, fathers are indispensable in the lives of their children, whether they are sons or daughters. They provide the love, support, and guidance necessary for children to grow into confident, respectful, and successful adults. The story of my granddaddy is a testament to the profound influence a “girl dad” can have, demonstrating that even if a biological father cannot fulfill his role, other father figures can step in to provide the care and support every child needs.

Remember to subscribe to our podcast, Thrive by The Rising Muse for topics related to faith, family and mental health.