More than Pumpkins and Cancer

 

October

October marks the beginning of the fall. The weather starts to cool off a little, or at least I’m waiting for it to finally do. The stores start carrying everything in pumpkin flavor. I like pumpkins, but some things should not be pumpkin flavored, just my opinion.  October is also breast cancer awareness month, a very worthy cause, but let’s not forget that it’s also Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

DV

Since I started blogging, I’ve tried to make a concerted effort to recognize this cause, because it’s close and dear to my heart. I try to provide information and a venue for survivors to share their stories.  This year will not be different. I’ll admit that some information may sound like repetition, but some things are worth repeating.

To anyone wanting to share their stories, I have a form on the site where you can share 6the story confidentially. I will post it on the main page, only if I have your consent. If not, and all you wanted to do was vent, I’ll consider it an honor the fact that you decided to share with me and I’ll pray for you.

 

To family and friends of victims, I say this: be patient.  You may not understand why someone doesn’t leave an abusive situation. I can promise you that it’s complex. Rushing the person before they’re ready or putting them down will make the situation worse. Offer a listening ear and support as much as you’re allowed to.

To those who have survived, I say this: you made it! You may still be dealing with y battle wounds and other struggles, but everything will be OK. It may take a while, but it will be fine.

To those in the situation (men and women), I say this: You are loved! Don’t even believe that you’re not worth it, because that’s a lie. Don’t ever believe that you are stupid, because that’s a lie. Don’t ever believe that you can’t do any better, because that’s a lie. You are precious, loved and wonderfully made. Reach out, we’re waiting for you.

8

Be blessed

Naty

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

 

 

 

Advertisements

Big secret blown up

Today’s WordPress prompt was, “What is the biggest secret you failed to keep? I had to think long and hard about this one as my regular line of work and most of my ministry work is surrounded by confidentiality clauses and agreements; therefore there’s not much that I have revealed in terms of secrets. I also don’t tend to divulge secrets anyway so it took me a while, but then a light went off on the personal realm the one I found was life changing.

 It is customary for most churches to require a pre-marital course for couples. I attended to one of these when it was my “bridal time” and met two other couples preparing for their nuptials with whom we became very close. We became so close that after the course we started helping each other in the wedding preparations. My wedding was the one in the middle of the other two.

We attended the first wedding and after that, the now wife and the wife to be became my little helpers. The grooms became friends and tended to hang out together when we girls were submerged in lace and flowers. As we were very focused on our tasks we had not noticed that the third groom (the one whose wedding was right after mine) had developed a certain affection for one of my neighbors, so every time it was time to come over to my place for my wedding things he was quite eager.

This neighbor was my lifetime friend and at some point told me about the handsome guy who was visiting my house and inviting her out. I quickly pointed out to her that the lady with him was nobody else but his fiancée. I was in a predicament. If I told my new friend about what her fiancé had done I was going to break her heart and probably cancel her wedding, but at the same time I would have been devastated if I would have allowed her to marry a cheater. So I did, I called the girl and told her about her groom and my neighbor.

The fun part was that the ladies got together and plotted a plan. My neighbor accepted the date, but instead of one, both women showed up. The soon to be married lady and I did not keep a relationship, but she said she was grateful for the revelation. As painful as this was, I really don’t regret doing it as I would have appreciated if anyone would have done it for me if it was me the one being cheated on.

In retrospective, nobody was asked to keep it a secret, but it was information that I knew that the affected person didn’t have. People forget that what’s done in the dark always comes to light. That it’s important to do the right thing, just because is the right thing to do. It usually is a good assistance to a good night sleep and I love my sleep.

Blessings!