holiday grief – Naty Matos

The holiday season is often wrapped in bright lights, warm gatherings, and words like joy, peace, and merry. But for many, December doesn’t feel merry at all. Instead, it magnifies the ache of what—and who—is missing.

Maybe you’re facing the first Christmas without someone you love.
Maybe a divorce has fractured your sense of home.
Maybe a job loss has left you anxious about the future.
Maybe your health has shifted your daily reality.
Or maybe a broken relationship has left an empty chair at the table—and an even emptier space in your heart.

If you’re dreading the holidays this year, you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not forgotten by God.

Below is gentle truth, comfort, and hope for anyone walking into the season with grief, fear, or disappointment.

When You’re Grieving a Loved One

Scripture: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

Loss has a way of turning familiar traditions into reminders of what has changed. What once brought joy may now stir pain. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and it certainly doesn’t pause for December.

Hopeful Hints

Give yourself permission to feel. God isn’t asking you to pretend.
Create a moment of remembrance—light a candle, share a story, display a photo.
Let this be a season of gentleness, not pressure.

Prayer Thought: “Lord, sit with me in this tender space where joy and sorrow coexist. Be my comfort today.”

When You’re Divorced or Separated

Scripture: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3

Shifts in family structure can cast a spotlight on what’s been lost. Traditions change, routines break, and loneliness tries to creep in where connection used to dwell.

Hopeful Hints

Release the pressure to recreate the past.
Start small, new traditions that honor where you are now.
Surround yourself with voices that speak life, hope, and peace.

Prayer Thought: “God, restore my sense of belonging and rebuild the places within me that feel broken.”

When You’ve Lost a Job or Financial Stability

Scripture: “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:19

When finances are uncertain, the holiday season can feel overwhelming. Expectations rise, but resources don’t. Yet your value has never been tied to what you can buy, give, or provide.

Hopeful Hints

Simplify the season—meaning always matters more than material.
Seek support without shame; community is God’s design.
Remember that provision rests in God’s hands, not your performance.

Prayer Thought: “Lord, be my Provider. Show me Your abundance even in this season of lack.”

When Relationships Are Broken or Strained

Scripture: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” — Romans 12:18

Heartbreak isn’t limited to romantic relationships. A shattered friendship, tension with a family member, or distance with a child can make the holidays especially painful.

Hopeful Hints

Let go of forced togetherness; sometimes peace means stepping back.
Protect your heart with healthy boundaries.
Pray for reconciliation, but also pray for your own healing.

Prayer Thought: “God, guide me in my relationships with grace, wisdom, and peace.”

When You’re Battling Health Issues

Scripture: “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

Illness—whether physical or emotional—can make the holidays feel heavy. Low energy, constant pain, or limitations can reshape what celebration looks like.

Hopeful Hints

Celebrate what you can, not what you feel you must.
Prioritize rest over expectation.
Allow others to support you—this is not a burden you have to carry alone.

Prayer Thought: “Lord, strengthen me, comfort me, and give me grace for every moment.”

A Final Word of Hope

Even when the holidays feel overwhelming, Christmas itself was born into darkness. Jesus stepped into a weary, grieving, broken world—and He still steps into ours. His birth remains good news for heavy hearts.

Scripture to Hold Onto:
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

Whether this season finds you mourning, adjusting, rebuilding, hoping, or simply surviving, you are seen. You are loved. And God is with you in every breath, every tear, and every quiet moment.

May this be a gentle December, where the presence of God becomes your greatest gift and your steady place of peace.

Thanksgiving is a season of gratitude, connection, and the warmth of sharing meals with those closest to our hearts. Yet, for many, it’s also a time when the ache of absence feels especially profound. An empty chair at the table may remind us of loved ones who are distant, estranged, or no longer with us. These quiet moments of longing reflect cherished memories and unspoken wishes.

But even amid the bittersweet pangs of missing someone, there are ways to honor those feelings, foster meaningful connections, and embrace the gratitude that Thanksgiving inspires.

1. Acknowledge Their Absence

Grief and longing are natural companions during the holiday season. Rather than suppress these emotions, invite them to be part of the day. Speak your loved one’s name, share a favorite story about them, or recall a cherished memory. Acknowledging their absence doesn’t diminish the joy of the season—it creates a space for joy to coexist with remembrance.

Consider a simple ritual to honor them, such as:

Lighting a candle in their memory at the dinner table.
Displaying a meaningful memento they treasured.
Writing a heartfelt letter expressing your thoughts and feelings.

These acts of remembrance not only honor their legacy but also keep their presence alive in your heart.

2. Create New Traditions

When the weight of absence feels too heavy, creating new traditions can offer a sense of renewal and comfort. You don’t have to replicate the past to honor it. Instead, find ways to infuse the holiday with fresh meaning:

Cook a dish they loved and share stories about why it was special.
Take a walk in their honor and reflect on the lessons they imparted.
Start a gratitude jar where everyone contributes a note of thanks, creating a shared experience that bridges the gap between past and present.

For those separated by distance, a video call or sharing a favorite photo can provide a moment of connection that transcends miles.

3. Lean on Community

Grief often feels isolating, but you don’t have to bear it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or trusted support groups. Sharing memories of your loved one can foster connection and mutual healing. Others may be missing them too, and together you can honor their impact on your lives.

If the loneliness feels too much, consider giving back. Volunteer to serve meals, donate to a cause your loved one cared about, or spend time with others who may also feel the weight of loss during the holidays. Acts of kindness can bring purpose and comfort to the day.

4. Find Gratitude in the Present

Even in the midst of loss, gratitude remains a powerful balm. Reflect on the laughter, lessons, and love your loved one brought into your life. These memories are gifts that continue to shape who you are.

At the same time, open your heart to the blessings still present—those gathered around you, the warmth of a shared meal, or even the beauty of a quiet, reflective moment. Gratitude doesn’t erase longing, but it can remind us of the richness of what we’ve experienced and what still lies ahead.

5. Be Gentle With Yourself

Holidays stir up complex emotions, and it’s okay to feel them all—joy, sorrow, love, and grief. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate the absence of someone you hold dear.

Allow yourself to let go of the pressure to make the day perfect. If the emotions feel too overwhelming, take a moment to step away, breathe, or cry if you need to. Honoring what your heart needs is an act of grace.

Carrying Their Love Forward

While Thanksgiving may amplify their absence, it also provides a chance to honor their love and legacy. Whether through stories, new traditions, or quiet moments of reflection, you carry their essence forward with you.

This Thanksgiving, as you gather around the table, let yourself hold them close in your heart. In doing so, you may find that they’ve never truly left. Missing them is a testament to the deep connection you shared—a bond that transcends time and space.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with gratitude, gentle healing, and the comforting presence of cherished memories.