holiday reflection – Naty Matos

One of my favorite movies is The Grinch There are several versions of this movie. My favorite one is Jim Carrey’s version. However, the little one in my house prefers the 2018 animated version. Needless to say, we have seen it multiple times since this holiday season started. It has me thinking about how much deeper meaning this movie has and how it shows the true meaning of Christmas.

This is a special town where everyone, regardless of their challenges, is happy and united. And then there’s the Grinch. The Grinch doesn’t hate Christmas for it’s meaning, he hates it because he’s in pain. Think about it, if you look at all the contraptions inside his house, he seems to be very smart, creative and ingenious. It is not like he couldn’t be a productive member of society. He chose to isolate out of his own feelings of rejection, abandonment and sadness

The Grinch is an unhappy, grouchy character, one that we can identify in our daily lives. But if you look beyond the surface, why is he so angry and grouchy?

Childhood trauma:

Let’s start with the fact that his parents abandoned him in an orphanage. He doesn’t like seeing others happy because all he has experienced is despair. His meanness is just a façade and a way to keep people away. Since he was abandoned, he has come to the conclusion that he’s unlovable. We have all heard how “hurt people, hurt people”; the Grinch is the perfect example of this.

Loneliness

He’s all alone, yes do to his own making, but it’s partially because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable with his feelings. His hatred of the holiday was nothing but jealousy of the people of Whoville and their ability to connect with others. Think about all the scenes where he looks through the windows of Whoville, he’s not angry, he’s sad, almost in the verge of tears.

However, the Grinch is not a soulless unaffectionate being. He has his dog Max whom he loves and for who he takes good care of. The way he let the mammoth sleep in the bed with him. How he lets Fred go when his family came to get him (although that was a double edge sword as he felt abandoned again)

When Dr. Seus talks about the Grinch having a heart two sizes too small, it was a metaphor to his affections not a “biological” heart.

Kindness always wins at the end. It was the kindness of Cindy Lou and realizing that Christmas was way more than decorations and presents that changes the heart of the Grinch. This is a lesson to us all. On a day like today where people have commercialize this holiday so much that we have lost sight of what Christmas is really about. It’s about Jesus’s birth, but what Jesus came to earth to bring for us: salvation, forgiveness and love.

Redemption

The grinch shows how we really should go about forgiveness. He admts his wrong. He made amends by returning what he stole. He left expecting nothing from those who he wrong. He then receives forgiveness when Cindy Lou invites him over for dinner.

Have you thought about the grinches in your life and why are they the way they are? No, we’re not responsible for other people’s behaviors but we can be the catalyst of change by being kind with every interaction you have with them. Will they change, who knows? But you may be the seed that let’s their hearts grow? His last words in the movie, where that Cindy Lou’s kindness changed his life. Whose life could we be changing with just an act of kindness.

Thanksgiving is a season of gratitude, connection, and the warmth of sharing meals with those closest to our hearts. Yet, for many, it’s also a time when the ache of absence feels especially profound. An empty chair at the table may remind us of loved ones who are distant, estranged, or no longer with us. These quiet moments of longing reflect cherished memories and unspoken wishes.

But even amid the bittersweet pangs of missing someone, there are ways to honor those feelings, foster meaningful connections, and embrace the gratitude that Thanksgiving inspires.

1. Acknowledge Their Absence

Grief and longing are natural companions during the holiday season. Rather than suppress these emotions, invite them to be part of the day. Speak your loved one’s name, share a favorite story about them, or recall a cherished memory. Acknowledging their absence doesn’t diminish the joy of the season—it creates a space for joy to coexist with remembrance.

Consider a simple ritual to honor them, such as:

Lighting a candle in their memory at the dinner table.
Displaying a meaningful memento they treasured.
Writing a heartfelt letter expressing your thoughts and feelings.

These acts of remembrance not only honor their legacy but also keep their presence alive in your heart.

2. Create New Traditions

When the weight of absence feels too heavy, creating new traditions can offer a sense of renewal and comfort. You don’t have to replicate the past to honor it. Instead, find ways to infuse the holiday with fresh meaning:

Cook a dish they loved and share stories about why it was special.
Take a walk in their honor and reflect on the lessons they imparted.
Start a gratitude jar where everyone contributes a note of thanks, creating a shared experience that bridges the gap between past and present.

For those separated by distance, a video call or sharing a favorite photo can provide a moment of connection that transcends miles.

3. Lean on Community

Grief often feels isolating, but you don’t have to bear it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or trusted support groups. Sharing memories of your loved one can foster connection and mutual healing. Others may be missing them too, and together you can honor their impact on your lives.

If the loneliness feels too much, consider giving back. Volunteer to serve meals, donate to a cause your loved one cared about, or spend time with others who may also feel the weight of loss during the holidays. Acts of kindness can bring purpose and comfort to the day.

4. Find Gratitude in the Present

Even in the midst of loss, gratitude remains a powerful balm. Reflect on the laughter, lessons, and love your loved one brought into your life. These memories are gifts that continue to shape who you are.

At the same time, open your heart to the blessings still present—those gathered around you, the warmth of a shared meal, or even the beauty of a quiet, reflective moment. Gratitude doesn’t erase longing, but it can remind us of the richness of what we’ve experienced and what still lies ahead.

5. Be Gentle With Yourself

Holidays stir up complex emotions, and it’s okay to feel them all—joy, sorrow, love, and grief. There’s no right or wrong way to navigate the absence of someone you hold dear.

Allow yourself to let go of the pressure to make the day perfect. If the emotions feel too overwhelming, take a moment to step away, breathe, or cry if you need to. Honoring what your heart needs is an act of grace.

Carrying Their Love Forward

While Thanksgiving may amplify their absence, it also provides a chance to honor their love and legacy. Whether through stories, new traditions, or quiet moments of reflection, you carry their essence forward with you.

This Thanksgiving, as you gather around the table, let yourself hold them close in your heart. In doing so, you may find that they’ve never truly left. Missing them is a testament to the deep connection you shared—a bond that transcends time and space.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with gratitude, gentle healing, and the comforting presence of cherished memories.