Tag: love

Confessions of a control freak

On By Naty MatosIn Writing HappeningsLeave a comment

By Brian Peart

I have had heartbreak in my life, early death of a father, a failed business after the
recession of 2008, issues with my kids. But nothing could compare to the pain I
felt when I lost my wife. She was the great love of my life, a fairy tale story if
there ever was one. And now it was gone. She was off at the lake forming another
life and I was at home crying to Ed Sheeran. She said I was a “control freak” and
that I was verbally abusive. To be clear, I never hit her…there was no physical
violence, but you can tear down a person with words and apparently, that is what I
was doing. At first, I said she was crazy but at one of my lowest points it dawned
on me…maybe there was something to what she said.
As I began to look into what makes a control freak it became increasingly clear, the
heart of the control freak is fear. For me, this fear was based on insecurity. She
was beautiful and amazing and deep down, I did not think I deserved someone like
her. That led to a fear of losing her which led to my subtle and not so subtle
attempts to control the situation. The heart of a control freak is fear-fear of losing
control causes you to try harder to keep control…and in the end, the thing you fear
often happens anyway. So now I knew the cause of why I acted that way, but what
was the cure? I went to the ultimate source of wisdom, the Bible, to find out how
to stop this pattern and came across this verse, “Perfect love casts out fear”. Ah
Ha! That’s it. Perfect love casts out fear…I knew then I had to dive into the Bible
and get to the heart of love to conquer this fear once and for all. That journey led
to the writing of my book, “Perfect Love”. I feel the Lord led me through some
carefully orchestrated steps to walk me from my bitterest defeat-the loss of my
wife-to my greatest victory. Within 4 months my book was written and within 6
months it was published. Writing that book healed me, but more importantly God
showed me a simple strategy to help ANYONE who has experienced heartbreak
and defeat to rise above and get back to the victorious life Jesus promised when He
said, “I come to give you life to the full. “ And if that was the end of the story, it
would be a great victory. But God was not done.
Unbeknownst to me, my ex wife found a copy of the book and read it. At first she
was put off but the Lord guided her to read it a second time and it changed her life.
Divorce is never one sided, there are always two people in every marriage. She
had habits and issues herself and amazingly, the book spoke to her as well. She
reached out to me, we started dating again and now are re-married! Reconciled!
Praise the Lord what an Amazing Grace! God’s Grace is the key my friends, His
love is overflowing. When you are in doubt, when you are down, when you are
struggling, you need only to look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and
you will find peace. His Grace is sufficient for you!

19095577_1521594441247778_4644025883748247842_o (1)Brian Peart is a man sold out to God.  He lives in Monroe, Georgia and owns a mortgage company.  Brian is happily married and father to seven children with a granddaughter on the way.  Brian has laid out a battle plan in his book that takes you from the feeling of an epic fail, to the greatest point in your life.  He calls this a “God Help Book” and if you let the Lord lead you, with the simple steps in this book, you will be amazed at the results.

Brian Peart is author of a book entitled “Perfect Love”. In it he powerfully
reminds us of who we are, and steps out a simple plan to gain and keep a
victorious life all year long.

perfect love book cover

 

Love in Action Romans 12:9-10

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 

actionThe tricky part about love and honor is that it’s not just for those who we like. Being devoted to love those who are mean to us is no easy task. But this is something we really need to get serious about, after all is our second commandment right up there with loving God above all else.

The other misconception is that love is just tolerating everything others do and that’s not what love is. Love also brings correction and boundaries. Honoring others above ourselves doesn’t mean idolize them, it means to honor them in spite of our rights, hurts and emotions.

But in all we must be sincere about our love for others. Yes, no fake it until we make it. real loveWhen that love is not possible, it means that we don’t understand the love of God. Its at this time that we need to have Him show us his love and show us how to love others.

This also means that we are not happy when something bad happens to someone we don’t like and let me say, that means everybody. It includes, the neighbor, the coworker, the politician of the other party, the player of the opposite team, the driver who cut us in traffic and the person who did us wrong. It means that the most important muscles to workout are love and forgiveness.

That’s plenty to process, until next be blessed.

Five Foods

On By Naty MatosIn Articles, Inspirational Thoughts1 Comment

WordPress has these daily prompts that help bloggers come up with topics to blog about. Sometimes they fit my audience and I use their prompts, sometimes I don’t. One of the prompts for last week was: “You’ve being exiled to a private island, and your captors will only supply you with five foods. What do you pick?” 

To me that’s a one sentence answer: Steak, shrimp, pico de gallo, fried plantains and something to wash it up. But it got me thinking on this verse where Jesus said :”It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ Matthew 4:4

What are the five spiritual foods that we need, not only on a deserted island, but every day of our lives?

  • Prayer– prayerIn order to fill our lives with the presence of the Lord we need to pray. Think about any relationship in your life. If you don’t talk to that person, you don’t get to know them, you don’t get to spend time with them. Prayer is the way to communicate with God.
Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Colossians 4:2 Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving;
1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.
It’s obvious that God wanted us to pray.
  • Read the Word of God– To live under God’s will we need to know exactly how to live this gift of live that we biblewere given. I hear people all the time saying that they don’t know what God wants from them. Here’s the thing, God gave us a manual on how he sees things, expects things. In this book he portraits who he is, how he feels about us and what live he wants for us to live and how to do it. The book is called The Bible.

 2 Timothy 3:16-17 – All scripture given by inspiration of God, and profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness  

Joshua 1:8 – This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success

  • Worship– worshipWhen we worship the Lord we place ourselves in his presence. We were created for worship. I don’t know about you, but nothing fills my heart of joy and peace like entering in a place of worship with the Lord.

“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.”
John 4:23-24

  • Fellowhip– God didn’t create us to be an island. There’s a lot of us and it is for us to fellowship with one fellowship another. We are to love each other, encourage each other, pray for each other and help each other. By this I’m not talking about acts of charity, I’m talking about everyday life. Yes, the insane obnoxious coworker/neighbor, the teenager with an attitude, the messy spouse, the rude client/customer service person and the prideful acquaintance.

John 17:23  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may knowthat you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.

  • Love-loveThe two most important commandments we have to comply with are related to love. First, love God our Lord with ALL our hearts and then love others as we love ourselves. Everything is born out of love. Practicing love everyday in everything we do will nourish our lives.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

I leave you with this banquet. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Until then,

Be blessed.

WF: Beautiful

On By Naty MatosIn Worship2 Comments

When someone is in an abusive relationship they feel devalued. People often ask how someone could allow another person to abuse them. The reality is that abuse is a slow systematic process. The abuser recognizes the vulnerabilities on their object of abuse and preys on those vulnerabilities.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but eats slowly at the core of the one suffering the abuse.

Once the chains of abuse have been locked, several things extend or perpetuate the abused to stay with the abuser. The lies that were believed, the toll to the self-esteem, the dependence on the abuser (emotional, financial, cultural, etc.) will make the smartest and most educated person stay in an abusive situation. It is very hard for someone who has not lived or is not living in an abusive relationship to understand. This isolates the victim even more.

Questions like: Why do you allow it? Why don’t you leave? And comments like: You are in this situation because you want to; do not help but alienate more the one that desperately needs help. And sometimes the only help that you can provide is a listening ear.

But my point in this Worship Friday is to tell you out there to stop believing the lie. Stop believing that you are not worth it. Stop believing that you are not special, that you’re unloved. Stop believing that you’re not attractive. You are perfectly made. You’re beautiful. I hope this song encourages you in the darkest hours and gives you the strength to know that to He who created you, you are all.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

If you need to prayer or to share your story, don’t hesitate to email me at therisingmuse at Gmail dot com

WF: Worship Friday

True Love

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational Thoughts1 Comment

We are all pursuing true love. God created us as social beings, yes even those of us who don’t enjoy being around people. The reality is that those who don’t enjoy being around people,  are just protecting themselves from being hurt, if you look deep down. As loving creatures we crave love, just as much or more than we crave food or water.

But as we pursue love, are we willing to give love, real love? At the end of the day, what is love? The word of God tells us in  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”

So having that as a base, are we patient with the ones we love?

I know that this is a hard one. We all have expectations for ourselves and for those around us. Sometimes we know the potential of our loved ones, but they may not be ready, don’t realize it or  simply don’t want to. Are we patient enough  to support them through their journey?

Do we always want to get our way?

Ask yourself this, do you rather be at peace or right all the time? Sometimes we have to compromise in all kinds of relationships. Yes, we obviously think that our way and our thoughts are the best ideas, but when we love someone we need to take a step back and give grace and allow others to go at their own pace, their way and support them and love them through the process.

Do we really believe in them?

In spite of the faults and weaknesses that we see in the ones we love, do we truly believe in the best for them? If we love someone we can’t show our love being critical of them. Instead we should encourage their dreams, their desires and their hopes.

 Do we hope for all things?

When things are at their darkest point we need to place our trust in God and not necessarily on the other person. At the same time, do we allow the Lord to work the situation or do we just give up at the first sign of being uncomfortable?  Let’s not forget that “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who has been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

So we know everything will be alright even on the darkest of nights. Remember, when Jesus came to earth, the worst that could happen to the apostles was to lose him and he died…but then he was resurrected. In every dead area of our lives we need to hold on to the hope that he will either will be resurrected or make it brand new.

Can we endure all things?

Life and relationships are not easy. Even identical twins are different human beings. We need to learn to accept people for who they are. When we are committed to love somebody, we need to be prepared for trouble to come, not because we want to, but because it’s life. Sometimes issues happen because a situation happens or because there’s a disagreement. When we truly love, regardless of the type of relationship, we need to be prepared to work through our issues instead of disregard the relationship. If we decide to love like Jesus did, let’s do the right thing and express true love.

Until next time… Be blessed.

WF: One thing remains

On By Naty MatosIn WorshipLeave a comment

I was reading the bible the other day. It’s been a busy week. I’ve had family from out of town to celebrate my mother’s birthday. Of course I never forget about my main love, but have to admit that I have not dedicated as much time or attention as I usually do to my quiet time with God. So this particular morning in my prayer time I was thanking God for his love and for his patience.
Although I know God doesn’t want us in condemnation, I have not been able to grow to the point of not feeling guilty about the times when I don’t spend enough time with God. I have this feeling that I’m ignoring my father, my husband, my love and that he should be my priority.
So that’s why that morning I was thanking him for his patience with me on those days where I’m not the best daughter, his best wife and his best lover. Then I opened the Word and read in Psalm 118:1-4

Thank God because he’s good,

because his love never quits.

Tell the world, Israel,

“His love never quits.”

And you, clan of Aaron, tell the world,

“His love never quits.”

And you who fear God, join in,

“His love never quits”

I felt that it was an answer to my prayer. My love knows my heart. He knows that I am always thinking about him, that I’m always thanking him for how he provides for me in every aspect.  For that I’m grateful, for having a love that is really unconditional.
Join me in praising Him with this song that actually talks about how his love never fails and never quits on us.
Blessings


WF: Worship Friday

season (2)Also check out my novella “Season’s Greetings from Amelia” This great novella brings mystery, suspense and the best stocking stuffer for your favorite e-reader. You can get your copy for just 0.99 cents on Kindle,Smashwords and Nook only during the month of December.
Book Description
Daisy has the perfect life, beautiful children and a wonderful husband. And Christmas is right around the corner. Tis the season to be jolly… Or is it.
Daisy’s life is flipped upside down by strange letters that are sent to her by her best friend, Amelia. And as her life continues to quickly spiral out of control, she realizes that something BIG is about to happen. Can she put aside her confusion, hurt, and anger in order to solve a mystery that may have a horrific ending????
Can Daisy’s life ever return to normal regardless to whether she does or doesn’t?

Can being loved truly change someone?

On By Naty MatosIn Writing HappeningsLeave a comment

Can being loved truly change someone?

By Naty Matos

In all kind of relationships we ask ourselves if loving someone would make them change their behavior. Some people try to manipulate, shame, and pressure others to make them behave in a certain way. Others try to serve, love, and support in hopes that the acceptance will make them see the error of their ways. But does it work?

I’ve learned through my life journey that nothing is black or white, and this is one of those areas where there’s a lot of gray involved. I believe that feeling loved can help someone be encourage to do better as long the love is corresponded. Love can also provide the necessary support for someone who wants to make changes in their live but doesn’t have the necessary tools. Loving counsel and guidance could be the key to growth and breakthrough.

But there’s the other side, where love is not received. I believe that you can be loved, but if you don’t receive the love it would have no impact or even can create an unhealthy relationship. People who do not desire to change or accept love will not look for those growth opportunities.

I believe that God’s love can change us. It says in John 3:16
”For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” But even in this scripture says that in order to have eternal life and receive what God has for us we have to believe in him. His love can change us, if we’re open to receive him.

Will love change Amelia’s heart? Will love be sufficient for Daisy to understand, to forgive, and deal with the revelations she has received? Find out in “Season’s Greetings for Amelia” A great novella and a possible stocking stuffer for the mystery/suspense reader in your family, for just $0.99

season (1)Daisy has the perfect life, beautiful children and a wonderful husband. And Christmas is right around the corner. Tis the season to be jolly… Or is it.
Daisy’s life is flipped upside down by strange letters that are sent to her by her best friend, Amelia. And as her life continues to spiral quickly out of control, she realizes that something BIG is about to happen. Can she put aside her confusion, hurt, and anger in order to solve a mystery that may have a horrific ending????
Can Daisy’s life ever return to normal if she does or doesn’t?

Don’t ever give up on love!

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational Thoughts3 Comments

About four years ago I decided that I wanted to adopt a dog. I visited several rescue places but I couldn’t find one that would just be the one I wanted to take home. One afternoon a rescue place had their dogs at a pet store and I went to check it out and there she was. I stood about five feet away and looked at her for like thirty minutes. River was her name. She was a black lab. She looked friendly and quiet. One of the rescue volunteers placed her on a leash for me to walk her around. It was obvious she had no leash training and that she was way stronger than me as it was her dragging me instead of me leading her. I immediately fell in love with her and took her home.

Before we left the rescue volunteer told me some of her history. River was two years old, had been severely abused physically and emotionally. She still had scabs on her body from the abuse, which meant they were still kind of recent. She had been poisoned at some point, so unless she trusted the person feeding her, she would not eat. She was very introverted.

Well, just as expected, when we made it home she just went into a corner. Instead of fighting her into her crate she would stay there day and night even when the door remained open. If any men would approach her she would hide behind me. The first five days she didn’t eat. I was going crazy worried that she would get sick. I called the vet and she said that it was going to be ok, but my heart was breaking. The only time she was a little lively was when I would walk her and it was because she wanted to run away. It was a funny sight to see me being dragged by her through the neighborhood.

I bought every toy and treat I could find. I read about abused dogs. I took her to the park to socialize with other dogs; she would stay in a corner and do nothing. She didn’t eat the treats, she didn’t play with the toys, and she ignored the other dogs.

After a few days I sat with her in the floor of the kitchen and she came to me. I grabbed a few bits of her food and offered them with my hand and she finally ate. I cried; my baby was finally eating. For the next few days she ate only out of my hand, and then slowly we transitioned to the floor until she finally made it to her bowl. At the park, it had been a “family” effort amongst the regulars to get her socialized, so she was petted and given more attention than any other dog. Slowly she started playing alone with the toys I would bring to the park and even approaching people.

Unfortunately River is no longer with me, but what made me think of her today was the fact that sometimes people have been severely hurt by life and when someone comes into their life to pour love into them, they don’t know how to receive it. We do that to God all the time who loved us to the point of giving us his only son to die for us. Sometimes those hurting people can’t believe something good has happened to them and are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Be patient! Continue to pour your unconditional love into them, just like my River; they will slowly see that you really love them, than they are finally safe…that they are finally home!

Be blessed!

Book Review: Love Letters to my Queen Bride

On By Naty MatosIn Book Review1 Comment

llbookI think this has been one of the most challenging book reviews I’ve written recently. The reason for that is that I can’t find enough words to describe this book, but I think it can be summarized as live changing.

When I started reading this book I had to stop myself, this is not a book you read in one sitting. This book has to be savor in bits and pieces, no more than a letter a day. Each letter is so rich with love, energy and spiritual enlightenment.

On a day like today where people have chosen to celebrate true love, I chose to celebrate the source of Love, and this book is a great way to understand the Love of God. Love Letters are letters that seem written personally by the hand of God expressing in simple English his love, his need for us, the way he sees us and his purpose for our lives. This book is bible based and it speaks so much truth. I recommend this book for every woman and if you have teenage daughters, this is an awesome gift to give them. It’s never too early to understand where real love is found.

Now let’s meet the author behind this awesome book:

bethBeth Walker has been married to her husband, Ben, for over 40 years. She is the mother of three adult children and seven grandchildren that she adores.

After raising her children she founded a Christian counseling center where she served as director and counselor for sixteen years. She also founded and directed in her home town Drug Free Clubs for high risk youth at 23 sites. For over eleven years she has led an interdenominational worship group. She also has served as a Christian speaker, Sunday school teacher, and Eucharistic minister.

Among the various organizations that she has served as volunteer include the Board of the Montgomery Mental Health Association for twelve years and the Montgomery Board of Women’s Aglow International.

She is quick to say only through the help of the Holy Spirit was she able to do anything and will be able to do anything in the future. Her passion is Christ. She says, soaking in worship and then listening to Him, after knowing His word is the only way to go.

If you want to obtain a copy of his wonderful book just click on the picture above, but even better; if you want to win a Free copy of this book, today is your last day to enroll in our Giveaway. Go at the top to the Book Giveaway page and leave us your email. The winner will be announced this Friday.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Don’t wait to say I love you

On By Naty MatosIn Inspirational Thoughts6 Comments

I want to share with you a very personal story about one of my favorite Aunts. I have a huge family although it doesn’t seem so. I have cousins, aunts and uncles that I have not met and probably never will that’s how big my family is. We’re just not one of those close families, but if we decided to do a family reunion, we sure would need a stadium to hold it.

This particular aunt and my mother kept a close relationship telephonically as we were geographically ways apart. It was more than ten years ago and I was going through a very rough time and I needed to go away. I was at my mother’s house and she was talking to my aunt, to whom I had never spoken before and whom I had never seen before. I grabbed the phone and jokingly said, “I’m coming over”. She became excited and told me I was more than welcome to come. To make a long story short, I did make arrangements and went there.

It was funny when she went to pick me up at the airport, we had never seen each other, so we got on our cell phones until we were finally face to face. Although it was the first time we saw each other, I was home. I spent a week with her. She spoiled me rotten. After that week we kept in touch and she became the person I would go to when I needed encouragement. Even at a distance she became a second mom.

This past July I was supposed to come over to see her, but miscommunication made us miss the date and then I got so busy with the things around my new book that I never got around to make the arrangements to spend some time with her again. I had planned that this year I was going to make it there because I miss her, now its too late. She passed away this last Friday.

I do regret not having made a bigger effort to make that trip happen earlier. I do thank God for having given me the gift of knowing her and the love she gave me  the time I had her.

Rest in peace, Juliana!