WF: God of this city

I heard something preached at my church that stuck with me. The words were “ You are the only God that pursues us instead of us being the ones chasing you”

It stuck with me because if you think about things like idolatry where people kill or break things to please their god. It’s usually the people who are chasing the favor of their god. But in this date and age idolatry is more than statues and bizarre rituals. Our gods can be our addictions, our sins, our relationships.

1 John 1:6

If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.

If you are an addict, you are making the thing that you are addicted to your god and it’s you  who chases that god in search of the feeling of your next satisfaction.

That sin that has you bounded and keeps you going back to it over and over, it could have become your god. It is you who has not made the decision to turn it over. If nothing else remember the words from Paul in Romans 7:18

 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out

Yes, it true you can’t, but God can if you truly surrender and stop worshipping that behavior.

How many times you have compromised your values and the things you know to be right to please the person you are in a relationship with? So has that person become your god.

John 14:23

Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

The good news is that God is always waiting for us. He is the God of this city and every city. He’s different. He doesn’t need you. He wants you.

Romans 5:7-9 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him

Join me to day to Praise he who died for us, out of love for us.

Until then be blessed.

 Season’s Greetings From Amelia

clip_image002_thumb.jpg“This book is in a class by itself, you will not be able to put it down! The characters pull you in and you begin to feel their emotions. Excellently written. The title fooled me, the saying goes” never judge a book by the cover “and this is one of those books.” By Duezette

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Interview with Vicki Tiede

Today, we welcome Vicki Tiede, author of the new book, When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart.

Welcome, Vicki. How much of this book is “you” (your experience)?

This book was never meant to draw attention to me or to my ex-husband, it was meant to help a woman find healing for her heart in Christ. Snippets of my story are anonymously interspersed with those of 25 other women who have walked this path. When a woman discovers that her husband is struggling with pornography, the information becomes her secret to bear. This is not something women talk about. As a result, when one does want to share with someone, she doesn’t know who else will understand all that she is feeling. Silence is healing’s greatest enemy. I wanted my readers to know that they aren’t alone and that their feelings are typical. While no two stories are exactly the same, the grieving and recovery processes are similar. When women read this book and think, “How did Vicki know that’s exactly how I feel?” It’s because you can only know what this feels like if you’ve experienced it yourself.

Your book deals with the first two levels of porn addiction. (See the Introduction.) What should a wife do if she finds her husband’s been involved in levels 3 or 4?

The primary focus of When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heartis to deal with the wife’s issues and feelings regardless of her husband’s lust, self-gratification, and pornography. While I only minimally address level 2-4 addictions (physical affairs, paying for prostitutes, rape, etc.), this book is still for the wife whose husband has engaged in these higher level SA (sexual addiction) behaviors. Many of her feelings and the ramifications of his behaviors on her relationship with her husband are the same regardless of the level of addiction. The reader should be aware, however, that if she’s looking for a book that focuses on those issues, this is not that book.

Now, what should she do? (As I always say, I am not a professional counselor, but I know the Wonderful Counselor, so keep that in mind.) Because level 3-4 addictions involve criminal and violent criminal behavior, she needs to make sure she and her children are safe. If that means displacing her husband from the home or packing up and leaving, then she must do that. Then she needs to seek professional help (counseling, pastoral, legal).

Does it make a difference if the husband confesses to his sin as opposed to “getting caught” in his sin?

I always pray men have the good sense to tell their wife about the struggle rather than waiting for her to discover it herself. It is almost always better if a husband confesses to his wife before she finds out by walking in on him or discovers something on the computer. Restoration typically goes better in these situations. If she finds out on her own and is forced to confront him with what has been unveiled, then she will always wonder how much longer he would have kept this dirty little secret or if he would have ever come clean. Is he truly sorry because of what he did, or is he sorry he got caught?

Have you come across any women whose “sin reaction” (page 22) was so strong her husband was repelled by that and left her?

I’m sure that has happened, but I’ve never personally talked to anyone in this situation. I have, on the other hand, had men leave because they’ve declared her “sin reaction” as an overreaction to something that “everyone does.” In other words, rather than owning his sin and repenting, he recasts the sin onto her making her “prudishness” the reason he’s leaving.

More than anything, the husband needs to understand that sometimes a wife needs time to believe that her husband is really sorry. That may mean waiting for longer than he’s comfortable waiting for her to be okay. Just because his habit is over it doesn’t mean the havoc he brought into the marriage is over.

Thanks so much for joining us today. Readers, any questions for Vicki?

vicki1More about Vicki: I am an author and speaker who has a passion for opening the Scriptures and pointing women to their true source of grace and faithfulness. For the past ten years, I have been honored to speak for numerous women at conferences, retreats, and women’s events. I am the author of three books including When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography (2012), Plug Me In and Let Me Charge Overnight (2009), and Parenting on Your Knees: Prayers and Practical Guidance for the Preschool Years (coming January 2013). I live in Rochester, Minnesota, with my husband Mike, daughter, and two sons. Visit her on the web.

For Your Readers: Sample Chapters from When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart

Links to buy the book:

When_Your_Husband_is_Addicted_Pornography Cover
Vicki Tiede

NGP

Amazon

Barnes and Noble(BN’s processing times are lagging, but it will eventually be available here too)

Nook

CBD

Glad that God doesn’t anger like us

Every day I’m thankful that God is God and he doesn’t react like we do to situations. Every day we make decisions based on impressions, emotions, hormones (both men and women), pressures and they’re not always the best route. Imagine a God whose mercy depended on the weather outside, or how upset He was about the things we did? I think this would be a very empty world. I mean that literally.

We all have been in places were raw emotions have taken over, but as we grow in our spiritual walk we tend to be able to manage those better. It’s not an exact science and it doesn’t mean that we always react the best way to upsetting situations. This is definitely well described in Proverbs 14:29 ”Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly” Folly in case you don’t know means a fool; and don’t we make a fool out of ourselves when we lose our cool. But when we lose our cool or make a mistake the Grace of God can restore us through repentance. “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19)

It still amazes me how God can love us through our sins, how he never loses his cool with us as we are too quick to lose ours sometimes for the smallest things. He doesn’t want us to stay there and wants to restore us to peace; therefore the quicker we come to repentance the faster we can continue our life of peace. Psalm 103:10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

So my invitation for today is to be” slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:9) to prolong our peace on earth and enjoy our everyday relationship with God.

Blessings

Forgive me Father for I have sinned

Santo Domingo. Confession of a woman.
Image via Wikipedia

Confession is a part of the life of a Christian. The Bible talks about the importance of confession to be free from our sins. Each Christian denomination conceptualizes confession in a different way. As far as I know only the Catholic Church has a structure way of conceiving confession. In this structure the person reviews their conscience, goes to their priest, tells them all their sins, the priest assigns them a penance and once the penance is accomplish the sins are forgiven.

I’m not against confession, or technology for that matter, but I’m pretty baffled by the new I-phone/I-Pad confession application that Apple has recently released. The position of the Catholic Church is that they approve of it, but that it’s not a substitute for face to face confession. What does that even mean? If it’s not a substitute, those using the application would still have to do the face to face? Then, what’s the point!

I also question the potential legal implications for those using the application. Maybe I need to layoff my crime shows but, how confidential will that application be? We know that priest are the only ones covered under legal privilege of  any conversation from someone confessing to them, which I think is unfair for other religious leaders, but that’s another conversation. At the same time it’s known that if someone commits a crime or an indiscretion it would be covered under the traditional confession, but if the phone is tapped, could the police potentially have access to that information or even a private investigator?

From the spiritual standpoint, I think it would miss the purpose of confessing to another human being. We confess to God for the purpose of forgiveness, but as indicated in James 5:16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” Confession to another human being is for the person’s own healing.  How much of the counseling, prayer and healing can occur during this electronic process?

As much as I favor technology to compliment with information our spiritual walk, this is one of those occasions were in my opinion you can’t substitute human contact.

Just my humble opinion, comments agreeing or disagreeing are all welcome!

Blessings