support survivors – Naty Matos

For those trapped in the harrowing grip of domestic violence, finding a way to escape and break free from the cycle of abuse is a monumental and potentially life-saving step. Crafting an escape plan is an essential and empowering strategy to ensure the safety of victims as they seek refuge from their abusers. In this article, we will guide you through the process of creating a comprehensive escape plan, providing crucial information, and addressing the importance of support and resources.

Understanding the Urgency

The first and most vital aspect of creating an escape plan for a domestic violence victim is understanding the urgency of the situation. Abusive relationships are fraught with unpredictability and danger, and the victim’s safety should always be the top priority. Time is of the essence, and every moment counts.

Seeking Professional Assistance

Before diving into the specifics of an escape plan, it’s essential for victims to connect with professionals who specialize in domestic violence. Reach out to local domestic violence shelters, hotlines, or organizations dedicated to helping survivors. These experts can provide valuable guidance, resources, and emotional support during this challenging time.

Securing Essential Documents

Gathering and securing essential documents is a crucial step in the escape plan. Victims should gather documents like identification, passports, birth certificates, social security cards, and any legal documents related to their children or shared property. Make photocopies or digital scans and store them in a secure location, preferably outside of the home, like a trusted friend or family member’s house.

Collecting Financial Resources

Financial independence is often a significant obstacle for victims attempting to escape an abusive relationship. To address this challenge, it’s essential to start setting aside money discreetly. Open a separate bank account in your name only, and deposit small, manageable amounts regularly. Also, inform trusted friends or family members about the situation to ensure you have access to some financial resources when needed.

Safety Planning

Safety planning is at the heart of any escape plan. Victims should take time to assess the most dangerous times and situations, and develop strategies to minimize risk. This may include knowing the quickest route out of the home, creating a code word for friends and family to signal danger, or identifying safe places to go in case of immediate danger, such as a local shelter or police station.

Gathering a Support Network

Building a support network is essential for a successful escape plan. Inform trusted friends and family members about the situation, share your safety plan with them, and request their assistance and emotional support. Ensure that someone knows your whereabouts at all times during the escape process.

Leaving Safely

When the time comes to execute the escape plan, ensure that you have transportation arranged. Having a reliable and discreet mode of transport is essential. Keep a “go-bag” ready, packed with essentials such as clothing, toiletries, and crucial documents. During your escape, stay focused and calm, and contact your support network to let them know you are safe. If there’s kids involved make sure that that you have their documents as well, pack some snacks as depending on where you go, you may need to feed them for a little bit. The same with pets, make sure to have a ziplock back with food for them until you can get to a safe place.

Legal Protection

After escaping, victims should seek legal protection by obtaining restraining orders or protection orders against their abusers. Consult with an attorney or legal aid services to guide you through the legal process and help ensure your safety.

Creating an escape plan for a domestic violence victim is a lifeline, a beacon of hope in a dark and terrifying situation. By understanding the urgency, seeking professional assistance, securing essential documents, collecting financial resources, safety planning, gathering a support network, leaving safely, and seeking legal protection, victims can pave their path to freedom and safety.

Never underestimate the importance of professional support and counseling during this journey. Domestic violence survivors have the strength and resilience to build a new, brighter future. Remember, you are not alone, and there is help and support available to guide you towards a life free from abuse.

My personal plea to you is, do not look back. If you somehow have communication with the abuser, they will promise you the world, to change, to go to counseling. You’ve been there, you know those are empty promises. I know you want to believe them, but nobody changes for someone else. They change because they want to change. Do not go back once you’re out. Your live is at a graver danger at that point. Don’t ever doubt that you can survive by yourself. It may not be easy at the beginning but if you survived this nightmare, you’re equipped to survive and thrive going forward. I believe in you.

Stay safe!

Sexual assault is a deeply traumatic experience that affects victims on both physical and emotional levels. For too long, a culture of silence has perpetuated the suffering of survivors, leaving them feeling isolated and unsupported. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge the benefits of disclosing sexual assault. Speaking out can be a powerful act of reclamation, both for the individual survivor and society as a whole. In this article, we’ll explore the transformative impact of sharing one’s story and the positive outcomes that can result from disclosure.

Sexual assault can occur within a domestic situation. The fact that you are in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that you lose the ability to consent to a sexual act. Victims of sexual violence within a domestic violence context often face unique challenges. They may experience a heightened sense of isolation and helplessness, as their abusers use sexual violence as a means to maintain dominance and instill fear. This can also lead to long-lasting physical and psychological consequences, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety. It is crucial for society to recognize and support survivors, providing them with avenues to escape the cycle of abuse and access the assistance they need.

Breaking the Shackles of Silence:

When survivors disclose their experiences, they break free from the isolation and shame that often accompany sexual assault. Silence can be suffocating, but speaking out can provide relief and a sense of release. It’s the first step towards healing and regaining control over one’s narrative. Obviously, the best time to disclose is immediately, it will help with any legal proceedings and start the healing process. However, we recognize that’s not always an option. Talking about the experience with a safe person as soon as you can, will start the process of breaking the hold is has inside the victim.

Validation and Support:

Disclosing sexual assault can lead to an outpouring of support from friends, family, and the broader community. This support can be instrumental in helping survivors cope with their trauma and can be a source of strength during the healing process. Knowing that they are believed and not alone can be incredibly empowering.

We are also aware that this is not always the case. If your immediate circle is not safe, there are resources where you can start getting support and working on your recovery.

A place to start is the National Sexual Hotline (800-656-4673), NSVCR and Celebrate Recovery (faith based)

Empowering Others:

One of the most significant benefits of disclosure is the potential to inspire others to come forward with their own stories. Survivors who share their experiences often pave the way for others to do the same. This can contribute to a collective shift in attitudes towards sexual assault, ultimately dismantling the culture of silence.

Legal Accountability:

Reporting sexual assault can help bring perpetrators to justice. Although legal processes can be challenging, disclosing an assault can be the first step in holding those responsible accountable for their actions. By speaking up, survivors contribute to the effort to ensure that sexual assault is taken seriously, and that justice is served.

Healing and Closure:

Sharing one’s experience can be a cathartic experience. It allows survivors to process their trauma, make sense of what happened, and ultimately find a path to healing and closure. Opening about the assault can be a turning point on the journey towards recovery.

Changing the Narrative:

Public disclosure challenges societal myths and misconceptions about sexual assault. By sharing their stories, survivors can help correct harmful narratives and dispel the notion that they are somehow to blame for what happened to them. This, in turn, contributes to a more informed and empathetic society.

Advocate for Change:

Survivors who disclose their experiences often become advocates for change. They join the fight against sexual assault, contributing to efforts to reform laws, improve support systems, and educate the public. Their voices become catalysts for transformation.

Disclosing sexual assault can be an empowering and transformative act that benefits survivors in myriad ways. By breaking the silence, survivors can find validation, support, and healing, while also inspiring others to share their own stories. Furthermore, disclosure can help hold perpetrators accountable and contribute to a broader shift in societal attitudes towards sexual assault. As we encourage survivors to speak out and support them in their journey, we take a significant step towards breaking the cycle of silence and creating a world where sexual assault is not only condemned but ultimately prevented.

As always, stay safe