This has been a rough couple of weeks for me. When #MeToo movement started I was
glad that things were coming to the light. It is time that the abuse of women gets the attention it deserves. Those who follow this blog know that in October I usually talk about abuse, because it’s a cause very dear to my heart.
The flip side, and probably the draining part, has been seeing people still wanting to victimize the victims. I’ve been engaging in conversations attempting to explain to detractors that these thing DO happen. Making people understand that the fact that a disclosure happens 20,30,40 years later, doesn’t mean that they are not true.
I’ve experience several instances of sexual abuse in my life. When I thought of the premise of asking victims of evidence, I just shook my head. The first instance of sexual abuse that I remember was, I was very young, and an adult male known to me cornered me in a bathroom. He pulled down his pants and forced me to touch him. This was before I was of school age, but I remember it like if it was yesterday. This male is no longer alive. But if I needed to prove this. How could I? But I do know that it happened. I didn’t tell anyone at the time because I was too young to understand what was going on. I just knew that I felt uneasy and wanted out of that bathroom. I didn’t take a picture or kept his DNA.
I also remember being in my teens, my family visiting a family friend. I think there were only adults, so I got bored and I went outside. A neighbor to the person we were visiting, came over and started a conversation with me. Just a few silly questions, nothing that took long. He groped my breast and walked away. I felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything. I knew what he had done was not right, but he left immediately. I figured all I had to do was go back inside to be safe again. I can’t prove it today, but it happened.
I’ve heard that if an incident happened years ago, why speak now? Because there’s healing in speaking up. The other question that I hear frequently is, If this happened so long ago, why are victims not over it by now? Because when someone violates your body it leaves a mark that lasts forever. You may heal but the scar remains.
When I give my testimony in recovery meetings, I speak of my other instances of sexual abuse (molestation, attempted rape and domestic violence). Some days are better than others. Some days I can get through my testimony totally calm. But to this day, there are times where I still choke and cry. To this day, after recovery and treatment, there are nights that I wake up with nightmares. The more I share the less I feel shame. The more I share I feel like I take more of my power back. When I started the process, the most healing thing for me was to know that I was not alone. I was able to speak, because someone told me her story and it was so similar to mine.
I write to bring light to truth. I write because God had given me a voice to express some things. Today I want to be YOUR voice.
Luke 8:17 says “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.”
If you want to disclose your story, it’s time to be set free. It will help you and help others. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I will NEVER publish your name. Just your current age and where you’re from (generally, like state or country) and your gender (yes, my brothers are welcome to share their stories too).
Let’s start and continue this healing together. Let’s change this culture of abuse. We are better together. Let’s bring awareness that this happens way more than people think. It will be the only way to make change happen.