Book Review: Shadow Stalker

Do you guys remember the movie Jerry McGuire, when Jerry declares his love for his wife and she tells him “you had me at hello” That’s the best way to describe this book.  As a crime mysteries lover, this book just sucked me in. I dare you to read the prologue and not read the rest of the book. A little spoiler if you allow me. In that prologue there’s a scene and the author says something like…and she saw her mother’s head explode in front of her eyes. I was sold. I know, it sounds morbid, but it is that good.

I sat patiently for hours at a doctor’s appointment without complaining because I was so into the book that I was in no rush to be called in. I think has been a long time since I have been upset that a book ended, but the good news is that it’s a series so I’m definitely going for book 2, because I need to know what happens. So I take this opportunity to tell the author to hurry up and write it…LOL!

In a nutshell, this is the story of a woman who watches her parent’s being killed as a child. She’s protected by family members who adopt her for a while. She grows to become a private investigator, which sometimes gets her in trouble. The people who killed her parents are after her and now she needs to use her skills to protect herself, but also to protect her current investigation and the investigation of her new partner.

I give this one five stars with no hesitation.  I’ll keep you posted when I read the next one.

Legitimate Rape

During the US Senatorial Campaign in Missouri, a politician stated that if a woman was involved in a situation of “legitimate rape” the body knew how to reject the products of conception and she wouldn’t get pregnant. This raised a huge issue, as it should have. Starting with the concept of legitimate rape, implying that there are situations of non-consensual sex that are not considered rape. Why am I bringing this up now? Recently, NBC’s “Law & Order: SVU” aired an episode dealing with this issue and brought it back to my mind.

I don’t agree with the biology of this concept and I know a lot of people were outraged by the insinuation. But then it became an issue of faith when the Bible was misquoted insinuating that God approved of Rape. These were some of the scriptures utilized.

  • Deuteronomy 22:28-29– This scriptures talks about pre-marital sex not rape and how a man who was already engaged to this woman should marry her after having sex with her.
  • Deuteronomy 21:10-14 This scripture talks about marrying a prisoner of war women, not rape. Now historically no woman had a choice in the men they married in those times. Within that logic every woman before the 19th century was raped and we know that’s not true.
  • Zechariah 14:1-2 This scripture is describing the situation going on, not asking for women to be raped.

Personally I couldn’t serve a God who believe in rape, but I know this is far from the truth. I know how he has healed me from situations that were not His will but someone else’s misuse of free will. Taking the Word out of context is a old trick from the enemy to distract us from the healing that God has for those who have been hurt.

If you have been sexually assaulted, I know that you are hurting. Do not believe this is your fault. Do not believe that this was God’s will. This was the misuse of someone’s free will and God wants to free and heal you.

Now this is what Jesus has asked us to do with each other and it shows the Truth of God’s heart:

John 13:34 says “”A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” NIV

We also read in

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” NIV

Jesus said that when Moses was giving the law, he allowed certain things because of the hard hearts of men. Although he said that in relations to divorce, I can see that translating to other subjects. God has not approved for women to be hurt. If we love others, we would not hurt others and that’s the True command.

Until then, be blessed.

clip_image002 This book certainly held my interest straight through to the very emotional ending. Mary Anne Benedetto

With the ever-constant presence of her closest friend, Aimee, Desiree slowly makes her way to God and learns the greatness of His power and love. Cynthia

A very engaging story about faith, love, and friendship, and the trials and tribulations that life can bring you. Jersey Gina

Interview with Vicki Tiede

Today, we welcome Vicki Tiede, author of the new book, When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart.

Welcome, Vicki. How much of this book is “you” (your experience)?

This book was never meant to draw attention to me or to my ex-husband, it was meant to help a woman find healing for her heart in Christ. Snippets of my story are anonymously interspersed with those of 25 other women who have walked this path. When a woman discovers that her husband is struggling with pornography, the information becomes her secret to bear. This is not something women talk about. As a result, when one does want to share with someone, she doesn’t know who else will understand all that she is feeling. Silence is healing’s greatest enemy. I wanted my readers to know that they aren’t alone and that their feelings are typical. While no two stories are exactly the same, the grieving and recovery processes are similar. When women read this book and think, “How did Vicki know that’s exactly how I feel?” It’s because you can only know what this feels like if you’ve experienced it yourself.

Your book deals with the first two levels of porn addiction. (See the Introduction.) What should a wife do if she finds her husband’s been involved in levels 3 or 4?

The primary focus of When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heartis to deal with the wife’s issues and feelings regardless of her husband’s lust, self-gratification, and pornography. While I only minimally address level 2-4 addictions (physical affairs, paying for prostitutes, rape, etc.), this book is still for the wife whose husband has engaged in these higher level SA (sexual addiction) behaviors. Many of her feelings and the ramifications of his behaviors on her relationship with her husband are the same regardless of the level of addiction. The reader should be aware, however, that if she’s looking for a book that focuses on those issues, this is not that book.

Now, what should she do? (As I always say, I am not a professional counselor, but I know the Wonderful Counselor, so keep that in mind.) Because level 3-4 addictions involve criminal and violent criminal behavior, she needs to make sure she and her children are safe. If that means displacing her husband from the home or packing up and leaving, then she must do that. Then she needs to seek professional help (counseling, pastoral, legal).

Does it make a difference if the husband confesses to his sin as opposed to “getting caught” in his sin?

I always pray men have the good sense to tell their wife about the struggle rather than waiting for her to discover it herself. It is almost always better if a husband confesses to his wife before she finds out by walking in on him or discovers something on the computer. Restoration typically goes better in these situations. If she finds out on her own and is forced to confront him with what has been unveiled, then she will always wonder how much longer he would have kept this dirty little secret or if he would have ever come clean. Is he truly sorry because of what he did, or is he sorry he got caught?

Have you come across any women whose “sin reaction” (page 22) was so strong her husband was repelled by that and left her?

I’m sure that has happened, but I’ve never personally talked to anyone in this situation. I have, on the other hand, had men leave because they’ve declared her “sin reaction” as an overreaction to something that “everyone does.” In other words, rather than owning his sin and repenting, he recasts the sin onto her making her “prudishness” the reason he’s leaving.

More than anything, the husband needs to understand that sometimes a wife needs time to believe that her husband is really sorry. That may mean waiting for longer than he’s comfortable waiting for her to be okay. Just because his habit is over it doesn’t mean the havoc he brought into the marriage is over.

Thanks so much for joining us today. Readers, any questions for Vicki?

vicki1More about Vicki: I am an author and speaker who has a passion for opening the Scriptures and pointing women to their true source of grace and faithfulness. For the past ten years, I have been honored to speak for numerous women at conferences, retreats, and women’s events. I am the author of three books including When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography (2012), Plug Me In and Let Me Charge Overnight (2009), and Parenting on Your Knees: Prayers and Practical Guidance for the Preschool Years (coming January 2013). I live in Rochester, Minnesota, with my husband Mike, daughter, and two sons. Visit her on the web.

For Your Readers: Sample Chapters from When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart

Links to buy the book:

When_Your_Husband_is_Addicted_Pornography Cover
Vicki Tiede

NGP

Amazon

Barnes and Noble(BN’s processing times are lagging, but it will eventually be available here too)

Nook

CBD

Could Jeffrey Dahmer be in heaven?

Every time someone thinks of Jeffrey Dahmer the first thought is that of a serial killer. He raped, killed and kept the parts of some of his victims. He buried some of them. It was known that he killed around 17 men and boys.

I was looking into my usual crime stories and amazingly enough I had heard the name but didn’t know the story. To my surprised I read not only about the despicable disgusting things he did, but as I kept reading I found out something that it’s not talked about much.

While in jail, after being apprehended while his last potential victim was able to escape and alert authorities, Dahmer did something amazing… He gave his life to Christ.  Yes, my mouth dropped and I couldn’t believe it, he repented and got saved and accepted Jesus as his Lord and savior.  He even got baptized.

The bible says that in Mark 16:16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned” and it also says in Isaiah 1:18 “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool

Dahmer was attacked twice in jail, once coming out of a church service and later on while cleaning floors and that’s when he was killed. I think this is an inspirational story. I believe that in the eyes of God there are no sins bigger than other. A lie and a murder carry both the same weight; maybe not in our eyes, but in God’s eyes.  (1 John 3:4-5 Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness)

If I follow the Word of God then yes, Jeffrey Dahmer could be in heaven. I can’t be certain as only God knew his heart.  We believe in a God that can forgive it all. Isn’t that great? If you have not raped and murder anyone,  guess what? if you repent, what you did can be forgiven. But there’s more, even if you have… if you repent you can be forgiven too. We all can.

I thought that was a deep concept to process and wanted to share. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings!!!