Running into the arms of fire
Without a way to stop
I watch my flesh melting
I can smell my hair burn
But instead of running away
I go deeper into the burning wood.
It’s a paralyzing fear
It’s the petrifying peace
while all this fire
controls everything inside me.
I fight the thoughts and feelings
as I burn inside this fire
is it all true? Is it all a lie?
will I lose everything at once?
While my mind and my body
get consumed
can’t stop but wonder
If I’ll live this dream
or reality will doom.
Why are you showing up for battle?
Why now?
Why not earlier? Why not later?
You gallop into this war
attempting to be a hero
of an already lost battle.
Oh brave black knight!
Long rainy nights are ahead
If you could only understand
If you could only see.
Take a peek inside the castle
You will see,
there are no survivors,
you will not make it alive!
Oh brave black knight!
I wish you had a fighting chance!
To see you at the top of the mountain
proclaiming the victory.
Will you make it brave black knight?
Will you surrender before starting the fight?
Will you go home and not even start the journey?
Or will you die in the field fighting the good fight?
Natalicio is another word for birthday in Spanish. I happen to be counting another one of those in my calendar. I woke up this morning thinking about my daily routine, even complaining about things here and there and then I stopped myself.
New Years Eve is not the only day to make inventory of your life, every time another year of life is added is good to see where you are, especially in comparison to where you’ve been. I started by thinking where was I for my last birthday. I remembered having a family dinner and a small gathering at home. I am grateful for the efforts but I was not in a good place.
This last year has been filled with hard lessons and great challenges, but has also been filled with the Mercy and Grace of Jesus Christ. I look at myself in the mirror and I’m definitely not the same person I was. I have grown a lot and thank God it has not been in my dress size. I have made new friends, have taken new risks and I can look at the future with purpose.
I also reviewed that God has allowed me to live this far, not saying that I’m old, but any enterprise more than 20 years is a long journey. I looked at my life with gratitude. I have a God that has provided for me every single day. I have never gone to bed without eating, unless I wanted to and I obviously don’t chose to. I’ve had a roof over my head all my life. I’ve always had clothes to wear, and all of you should be grateful for that too. My bills have always been paid, a delay here and there, but that’s my stewardship challenge, not lack of provision. I can’t even count the many times God has saved my life from trouble. I stopped my pity party and looked at life in a different light. I made a decision. Today was the day to move forward; to start looking at life for its blessings.
I felt filled with joy and left my house to live the first day of my life, it was truly my birthday; my day of birth. To complete my joy, friends and family overwhelmed me with demonstrations of love. I was already happy to be alive and have the Lord, everything else was icing in the cake, and I had tons of it, all fat free as it was all involved in love.
Even if it’s not your birthday today, take an opportunity to look at the blessings in your life. Be mindful, your job may not be perfect, but at least you have one. Your check may not be enough to allow you to travel, but your bills are paid. You may not have the latest fashion but you’re not naked. You may not be able to eat at a fancy restaurant, but you don’t go to bed hungry. Be grateful for all you have and all the blessings God has poured into your life and experience your own birthday.
Internet is back up, Halleluiah! As promised, upon my return I was going to add another one of my short stories for your delight. Please go to e-reads page and click on “Loud Silence” or simply click on the link below and enjoy this dramatic story of a woman who had it all and basically snapped.
Feedback is always welcome and thanks for your patience while I was away.
Happy Reading!
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I’m so excited!!!! I just received the news that my non-fiction story “Obedience” has been accepted for publishing as part of the upcoming book “Living Lessons” from Whispering Angel Books. The book is expected to come out in September of this year.
I’m very grateful to God for depositing in me this talent and to all my readers for you never ending support.
YAY!!
To all my readers:
Due to technical difficulties at home I will not be able to do any postings for the next couple of weeks. My access to the internet will be very limited. However this time will not be misused, I will dedicate this time to work on my writing, which is in much needed attention. I was also thinking that I’ve been promising another short story, but just have not had time to write it; any topic suggestions will be appreciated. Keep inspiring each other and stay tuned; I will soon be back with more rising muse.
This is the first day and it has already been a drag; not for lack of muse, but for lack of energy. It has been a busy day, but at least I was able to get a pretty good outline of what I want the book to look like. We’re off the gate right on schedule with 1129 words, let the writing begin!
I know it sounds Chinese but it’s not. It’s The Summer Novel Writing Challenge. It’s the new writing competition I just joined. It starts on June 1rst and ends August 31rst. This one is for a 100, 000 words novel. I love the idea as I’ve had some projects roaming my head for a while, but also because it give me more time even when it’s double the number of words. The challenge for me: I’m still editing “The Road Home”, so writing and editing…hopefully I don’t cross the stories…LOL
I’m determined to cross the finish line and not have a “frenzy” moment.
What am I planning to write? The title will be Days of Dolores. It’s the story of a survivor, who endured not only emotional pain but a lot of physical pain as well and how she came through. It will be fiction based on a true story. No, it’s not a story from my life.
I’m psyched about this opportunity. We’ll be back tomorrow with Part 3 of the Mercy series. Stay tuned.
Church Sex scandals are a hot button topic these days and have maintained high visibility in the media recently. I was moved to write this because I believe that the passion and intensity surrounding this issue has skewed a lot of people’s opinions and perspective and I believe that I can give a more balanced view on this issue.
It is terrible that as a people we have to be watchful even with those who we have been conditioned to trust, namely men and women who claim to come in the name of God. Sex scandals have not been exclusive to the Catholic Church, many preachers and pastors have fallen short of the grace and those things have become public. It is always disappointing. I think part of the disappointment comes from forgetting these individuals are merely men and women. We have the tendency to elevate their position because of the part they play in our communities, social settings and the body of Christ. The reality is that yes, their responsibility is to lead and teach us about the Lord, but their humanity doesn’t leave with their calling. Actually, as Christians we need to pray harder for our leaders because their attacks and strongholds are often as large as their calling.
I’ve heard people blaming celibacy for these events. I respectfully disagree. Priests and nuns 
know that this is a requirement of the commitment they have made. If sex was the driving force then priests having relations with Nuns or other secular adults would be just as, if not more, prevalent. The truth is pedophilia, rape, and sexual abuse is not sexually driven. They are driven by a deeper disturbance; it’s about control and power more than the sex itself.
The other part where I respectfully disagree is where it has been commented that because it was male priests with male boys, that it was due to homosexuality. Homosexuality is not equal to pedophilia. Statistics show that the majority of sexual predators are heterosexual.
Now the thing that really bothers me about these cases is the way they have been handled. Whether the abuse was committed by clergy or the man down the street, the inequities in the handling of the situations are abhorrent. The fact that many of these priests were simply relocated to new communities, with no consequences or rehabilitation program, is ridiculous. On top of that, the new communities were not advised of the person’s past behavior. If the 
church wanted to take care of it internally, like the military handles issues that pertains to soldiers; I don’t have issue with that, however, relocating them to another community is unacceptable. Instead they should have been placed in some manner of recovery program and then reassigned to work in a position where they didn’t have access to children at all. Is that lack of forgiveness and mercy? No! That’s wisdom. Slapping their wrists and telling them to not do it anymore, without true rehabilitation, placing them back into the communities to do more damage, is irresponsible, dangerous and ultimately criminal.
It is hard for me to understand why servants of God would think that this would stay hidden forever? The word of God says that “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13 NIV) which means that nothing that they were doing was going to remain a secret.
I encourage you to pray for our religious leaders. They have a great responsibility and with it 
great lengths of attacks. I pray that they take the authority that has been given to them by their calling and correct appropriately those who have been entrusted to them.
I pray for the victims. I hope that their hearts continue to look to God for redemption and 
healing. God can restore anyone, and He can restore the souls of these who are suffering and their loved ones. I encourage you to pray the same
Be blessed.
It seems so closed and so far at the same time. April has flown away. I can’t believe that during nanowrimo, I had written over 150 pages by this time of the month and I have not been able to make it to the dreaded 100 this time. There’s so much of the story left to write and only ten days left. So the real question is , will I’ll be able to finish this script in the next ten days and hopefully with more than a hundred pages. Let the writing continue.
Naty Matos 