Forty years. More than four decades of holding hands through every chapter of life—raising children, building careers, weathering storms, laughing until tears fell, and learning from one another in ways no one else ever could. After that much time with someone, they become more than a spouse. They are your rhythm, your safe place, your steady.

And then suddenly… they’re in a hospital bed. All the strength they carried for years feels a world away.

For so long, I watched him work 16-hour shifts, seven days a week. I saw him stand strong—providing, protecting, and pouring himself out without complaint. He was dependable, resilient, unshakable—my earthly rock. And now, in this new season of retirement—when we imagined rest, travel, peace, and quiet—we’re facing battles we never saw coming: spiritual attacks, physical assaults on his body, weakness where there once was strength.

And the truth is…

It does something to your heart.

The Thoughts No One Wants to Admit

When your spouse is hospitalized, your mind becomes a battlefield.

What if he doesn’t recover the same?
What if this is the beginning of another long fight?
Will he be okay?
Will I have the strength to care for him the way he cared for us for so long?
Will God give us more time together?

No matter how old we get, no matter how many anniversaries we’ve celebrated…

It’s never enough time.

Not when you love someone this deeply.

You begin replaying memories—young love, early mornings, late-night conversations, road trips, holidays, and the moments that shaped your life together. You hold his hand tighter, noticing the warmth, the pulse, the gift of breath. And in the quiet moments between doctor visits and lab results, there’s a whisper in your spirit:

“Lord, I trust You. Even in this.”

When Faith Becomes More Than Words

It’s easy to say “God is good” when life feels steady. It’s different when fear presses on your chest in a hospital room.

But this is exactly where faith becomes real.
Where trust becomes a choice.
Where love deepens beyond comfort.

Psalm 73:26 reminds us:

“My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”

Even when bodies grow weak, God’s strength does not.
Even when hearts feel fragile, His hands hold everything together.

Choosing Trust in the Middle of the Unknown

I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know how long we will have together. I don’t know what this season will require from me—or from him.

But here’s what I do know:

God has been faithful for every one of these 40+ years.
He has walked with us through storms, disappointments, and miracles.
He carried us when we didn’t know how to move forward.

And I know—deep in my soul—that He is carrying us now.

So I choose trust.

Trust that God will strengthen his body.
Trust that God will equip me to care for him.
Trust that God is not finished with our story.
Trust that love is stronger than fear.
Trust that whatever time we are given—whether many more years or just one more precious day—God will be in the midst of it.

Still Standing on His Promises

In this season, I hold tightly to Isaiah 41:10:

“Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

And so, even here—in hospital halls and waiting rooms—I stand on His promises, trusting that the same God who carried us through forty years is faithful to carry us through this one.

V. Green