Standing up for NaNoWriMo

On November 4, 2010 By Naty MatosIn Articles5 Comments

I was really disappointed to read this article by Laura Miller, senior writer for Salon (posted at the bottom). I felt I needed to respond because NaNoWriMo is very dear to my heart. I do respect everyone’s opinion, but I think there’s a lot that is being missed regarding the purpose of NaNoWriMo. The author of this article qualifies this event as a waste of time and energy. There is a lot worse things you can do in November than write a novel.

As an amateur writer, this event has given me opportunities that otherwise would have been difficult at best without it. As someone living in a big city, when you have a dream, where do you begin? Obviously, I’m not yet on the best seller’s list, but through launching myself into this event last year for the first time, I’ve started making baby steps into the literary world.

NaNoWriMo was the tool that saved my sanity last year. When I decided to join NaNo, it was just part of a challenge, not knowing that adversity was around the corner. It was one of the most difficult times in my life on the personal front and yet the eagerness to get this novel completed allowed me to channel my energy there and not focus on the adversity that was going on in my life. Not only did I win, but I ended with a finished product. I understood that there was a lot of editing that needed to be done after finishing the novel and that particular novel is still being edited as I plan to publish it.

I don’t think it’s fair to blame NaNo for people who do not spend the time editing their work and presenting it to a publisher. That would be like blaming Duncan Hines for a cake that didn’t come out right because you didn’t follow the instructions. The NaNoWriMo website and staff are always mentioning December as the editing month. They make it clear that the work done in November is a raw product that needs development and in some cases, it may just need deleting, but it allows an individual to organize their thoughts for a month and be creative.

The other thing that NaNoWriMo gave me was community. I’ve met people that I probably would not have met under other circumstances. We have something in common, the desire to write. We learn from one another, we encourage one another and guess what? we have fun; clean unadulterated fun. I think I’m on the other end of the spectrum thinking that there should be more events like this worldwide.

The author states that writing more novels is a waste of time, as we have too many already. Maybe we should tell Starbucks to stop opening shops as they have one on every corner. Although, by the way, I need one closer to my house or they need to seriously start delivering, especially during NaNoWriMo.

She also states that there are better things to do in November. That’s a matter of opinion. As a balanced person during November, I still go to work, pay my bills, walk my dog (less frequently bless her heart), go to church and participate in those things that I’m involved with, talk to my friends, take care of my Café World and Farmville in Facebook, go to the gym, visit my family and have Thanksgiving dinner. The only difference is that instead of watching another re-runs of Law and Order or Criminal Minds, I choose to write. How dare I?

Aside from all the creative work that NaNoWriMo promotes, it attracts people to help others through the fundraisers that help charities. That apparently is also a bad thing.

I just felt the need to stand up for an event and a company that I believe in and that encouraged me to go forward with chasing my lifelong dream of being a writer and pursuing the gift God gave me.

About reading, it’s also inaccurate to assume that these 130,000 NaNo writers are not readers as well. I can only speak for myself. I am enrolled in Goodreads where I post the reviews of the novels I read and share those with my friends. I also belong to a book club that discusses a novel every month and that’s on top of all the online reading regarding articles, news, blogs and other things that capture my attention.

With all this said, I think that this article didn’t do NaNoWriMo justice and I have written almost 750 words that I can’t include in my novel…so enough of this and let’s get back to writing!!

Better yet, DON’T write that novel (salon.com)

The Road to Nanowrimo

On October 29, 2010October 29, 2010 By Naty MatosIn Writing Happenings2 Comments

Never underestimate the places were God puts you. I’m not saying that it was God’s will for me to be sick for the last week, but he knew I needed to stop the train of life I was running and there was a lot that I had been praying to hear from him, but had not stopped to listen. Few days in bed shivering with fever, dragging to do every move and knocked out on medication will do wonders to your spiritual ears.

For the last few weeks I’ve been working on the anticipation of my yearly writing main event, Nanowrimo. This is the race to write a novel in a month of 50,000 words or more. Last year was the first time I ventured to do such thing and I was nervous due to the unknown. It’s worth mention that Nanowrimo was the precursor of The Rising Muse. I had so much writing energy after being in writing boot camp that I needed to channel it somewhere, that’s how The Rising Muse was born. It also gave me the opportunity to finally finish a novel, which in itself was a great accomplishment, winning the competition was not bad at all. The rest of the year has been dedicated to editing the fruits of my labor (hint, hint to my editor, get yourself in gear, we’re trying to publish a book here! LOL!)

Anyway, at 52 hours from facing the challenge one more time, I’ve taken the time to review my life within the last year and see how far God has brought me during this time. A lot of things have happened in the last 12 months. I don’t work in the same position, I don’t drive the same car, and I don’t live in the same place. My spirit and my love for God are not even at the same level. I do have more responsibilities, but I wouldn’t trade it for the past. I have new friends, 20 less pounds (that I hope not to gain in November, it tends to happen); a total new life.

In my writing career, what have been those accomplishments in the last 12 months?

My first publication, the short story “The Janitor”
Winning Nanowrimo, “ The Road Home”
Starting my blog, “The Rising Muse”
Starting a Spanish Version of the blog with a collaborator (yes, Yanira you deserve a lot of credit too) “TRM en Espanol”
My second publication, the story “Obedience and Willingness”

I look at it and I can’t believe it myself. Someone asked me today which was the accomplishment I was most proud of in my life ; I responded allowing God to shine through the talents he gave me and letting him use my gifts and mistakes to touch other people’s lives. So to him the Glory of all he’s allowed me to do!

Now at 51 hours the clock continues to race for me to start writing, “Breaking Free”. I think we’re doing better this year. Last year my novel didn’t have a title until the very end. I think we have a good start. Last year the anxiety was because I didn’t know what I was facing. This year the anxiety is because I do know what’s coming.

I want to take the opportunity to thank God for his love, mercy and for giving me this gift. I thank all my readers, my friends and family for your support. Thanks to Yolanda and Jeff for inviting me for the second year to their house for Thanksgiving allowing me to write instead of cooking. I promised a pie and a cake, Publix may end up doing them for me…LOL! To Seth, my editor, for loving me and putting up with my Spanglish writing. Only he understands the things I write, especially when I write in a hurry.

To those around me, remember, as of Monday there’s no cooking. My dog will appreciate visitors to let her out and I will appreciate anyone bringing me a sandwich, a smoothie (Carrie hint, hint), a soy chai latte or (Noe hint, hint) just listen to me fuss about how this story is not coming along. Let the writing begin!!!! 50 hours to go!!!

DVAM:To friend and family of victims

On October 8, 2010October 8, 2010 By Naty MatosIn ArticlesLeave a comment

Today I want to direct my attention to those who know someone who is or has been in an abusive situation. Someone who has not experience the fear or the trauma of abuse has trouble relating to the person inside or coming out of this situation. As a friend or family member you may want to help, but sometimes you may make things worse for the victim.

Never approach the abuser– more than likely you will make things worse for the victim. You probably don’t understand why this person keeps going back to the situation. It’s hard to explain the psychological grip that an abuser can have on your friend or family member. Don’t lose sight that the victim may still love their abuser and you may in fact alienate them farther from you. You may ask yourself, why does he or she lies to the authorities and makes it seem like nothing is going on? Because the consequences behind close doors; physically or psychologically, can be worse. You are also may be placing your own safety at risk by doing this.

Support, do not demand- Some people think that pulling the person out of the situation by force is the answer. Until the victim is emotionally ready to take a step, it will not happen. Do not criticize his or her efforts, all you will achieve is for them to retrieve and think that you’re not part of his/her support system as well. The potential for escalated violence and even death increases exponentially the moment a victim tries to get out of the situation, which is exactly the moment that the abuser loses control of the situation. Understand that a victim needs to feel power over of her/his own life again, and the last thing this person needs is another person stepping in to take control. Read more: How to Help a Friend Out of an Abusive Relationship | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2101401_help-friend-out-abusive-relationship.html#ixzz11mw6GOOc It’s on his/her time, not on yours!

Be part of the plan not part of the problem- That you can do. Be there, support the victim. Educate yourself in matters of domestic violence. Gather and share resources that could help the person who is in or just got out of an abusive relationship. Let the victim know that you can be counted as part of the safety plan and in which way you can be of support; that meaning shelter, emotional, financial, transportation, whatever the case may be. “Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible ” 3 John 1:5

Listen without judgment- A victim of abuse is already oppressed by their situation, the last thing they need is someone judging their feelings and emotions. Once again, all you’re going to achieve is for the person to retrieve. This also applies to victims in recovery. Never forget this is not the victims fault. Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, race, social or financial status, education level or even religious beliefs.

Show honest concern-If you’re not going to be a friend or support, don’t offer it. A victim domestic violence has already been hurt and disappointed by engaging into a love relationship with someone who has or had hurt them physically, emotionally, psychologically or mentally; the last thing they need is someone else added to that list. To show true interest in their lives and in them can make wonders for their sense of trust and safety on their way to recovery. Support is needed and the victim needs to know to trust that you will be there for him/her. Take honest interest in him/her, otherwise, just pray for them and do no harm.

Open your house and heart (if possible) As Christians we are called to help those in need. If someone is finally leaving their situation, look inside of you and see how you can be of help. Leviticus 25:35 “If one of your brothers becomes indigent and cannot support himself, help him, the same as you would a foreigner or a guest so that he can continue to live in your neighborhood. Don’t gouge him with interest charges; out of reverence for your God help your brother to continue to live with you in the neighborhood. Don’t take advantage of his plight by running up big interest charges on his loans, and don’t give him food for profit.”

Never…did I say never…just act or say to a victim…”you’re out now, just get over it! ” No matter how much information you think you have about what went on, you will never have a clue of the depth of this person’s wounds. Be supportive, let them heal. Allow time and God and hopefully your support to get them through this time in their lives!

I read this post and I think it totally exemplifies for those who have never experienced domestic violence how it feels and a way to understand the mindset of the victim or the victim in recovery.

http://exboyfriendexgirlfriend.com/relationship-advice/my-friend-left-an-abusive-relationship-and-now-feels-guilty-what-do-i-tell-her

Maggie says:(the question was how to help a friend overcome the guilt of leaving an abusive relationship)

February 18, 2010 at 2:00 am

This is all part of the abuse and the control. As long as she feels guilty he is still controlling her. These abusers are consummate actors. If she still has any contact whatsoever with him, then believe me he will be piling on the guilt and portraying himself as heartbroken. At this point he doesn’t have to be living with her to still pull those strings.

Any break up is hard and takes time to get over fully but emotionally abusive relationships are worse because the manipulation that has gone on tends to be deeply ingrained and is very, very hard to get over and resist.

This man has turned her into someone who is reliant on him emotionally and every feeling has been in response to what he has allowed her to feel. If he wanted her happy, he will let her be happy. If he wanted her crying her heart out and feeling like crap, then that’s what she would be. Help her to understand that she doesn’t have to respond that way anymore. Now she is free of him, she can be happy when she wants to be, her emotional life is her own again and under her complete control.

She has to learn to be emotionally distant from him and build up her self esteem and confidence. Someone else has been controlling her for so long.

Get her to seek some professional help. She needs to understand more about how this abuse works to be able to fully get over this man and build her confidence back up. Encourage her to talk. She will not have had the courage to admit to a lot of things to anyone outside the relationship before. Abuse makes you ashamed and one of the hardest hurdles to overcome is to be able to talk openly about what you have been subjected to without feeling that others will see you as pathetic or weak. Emotional abuse can be so much more painful than physical abuse as unlike a punch or a slap, the pain of a humiliating put down or an insult designed to make you feel worthless returns every time you remember. It takes longer for the hurt to fade.

She has been incredibly strong to walk away from this man so build on that and help her to see her strengths.

I hope this helps all of us, help those in pain inflicted by domestic violence…the right way!

Be blessed

DVAM-Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Therese Borchard: Surviving Domestic Abuse: Advice From an Expert (huffingtonpost.com)
Domestic Violence/abuse: How to File a Police Report (socyberty.com)

Extraordinary life: John Bevere

On October 7, 2010 By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

I don’t think there are enough words to fairly introduce this message. This word is for everyone, but taking the opportunity that we are talking this month about people who have lost their esteem, their hopes and dreams through the process of abuse, this message is especially for you. It talks about the real definition of Grace… which is Power!

All I have left to say is click on the link below and enjoy the empowering message that John Bevere graced us this past weekend at our church. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

http://victoryatl.com/modules/victorychurch/modules/media/mediaaudiopopout.aspx?link=http://victoryatl.com/media/sermons/2010/victory_2010-10-03_john_bevere.mp3

Be blessed

DVAM: From Victim to Victory!

On October 6, 2010October 6, 2010 By Naty MatosIn Articles1 Comment

My grandmother used to say, “Words do not break bones”. I have to add, but it does break souls. I think the hardest part for a victim of domestic abuse is letting go of the emotional grip and the psychological fear from their abusive situations. Physical wounds tend to heal, depending on the severity of them, but the invisible ones tend to run deep and last a long time.

I believe that at some point victims have to make the decision of not being victims anymore. I’m not talking about the ones that are still inside the relationship, although it does apply. I’m specifically addressing those who have finally gotten out and are still living emotionally in the prison of their past abuse. Many survivors carry with them the fear, anguish, that feeling of looking over their shoulders to see if there’s a threat, for a long time after they have escaped the arms of abuse. It’s life consuming. I’m not saying this is an easy process. I do know that it’s easier said than done. I also know that the abuser has taken so much out of their victims that my encouragement is to not give them one more second of your life.

I believe that a conscious decision needs to be made to retake the life that was stolen. God promises to restore your life. “I’ll make up for the years of the locust. You’ll eat your fill of good food. You’ll be full of praises to your God, the God who has set you back on your heels in wonder” Joel 2:25. It may take days, months or years. It’s a journey and a process, and it will require support and healing. God has promised to heal us and take care of those who have hurt us in any way. Jeremiah 30:16 “‘Everyone who hurt you will be hurt; your enemies will end up as slaves. Your plunderers will be plundered; your looters will become loot. As for you, I’ll come with healing, curing the incurable, because they all gave up on you and dismissed you as hopeless—“. I love this passage because when you’re in an abuse situation that’s exactly how you feel, hopeless and alone. God tells you that he sees your pain and its there through it. He promises to heal you from it.

Abusers have as much power as they are given. Choose not to feed that monster anymore!

If you are in an abusive situation, seek help. If you’re recovering from abuse, seek help. Allow God to guide your way out of your physical and emotional chains. It’s time to start living the life you were created to live. Know this, God is with you, and has a great purpose for your life. Close your ears to the lies of your abusers. God created you; beautiful, smart, strong and capable. You are not alone!!

Be blessed.

DVAM-Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Believing Your Own “Unbelievable” Memories (faithallen.wordpress.com)
Anger, Forgiveness, and Healing (psychologytoday.com)

Call to sanity: Bishop Eddie Long

On October 4, 2010 By Naty MatosIn ArticlesLeave a comment

I really didn’t think I was going to address this subject, but the more I hear about it, I feel compelled to do it. I’m talking about the situation that Bishop Eddie Long is being named in.

I think as Christians we have lost perspective. Part of the reason why I didn’t think it was a matter worth talking about is because this is a legal issue between the accusers and the accused. Yes, Bishop Eddie Long comes on television. He’s still a human being and so are the young men who are involved in this process. I do recognize that is sad to see Christians involved in things that go against our beliefs, but we can’t lose perspective these are human beings as well. Sin is sin; lies, abuse, murder, adultery, stealing is all the same in the eyes of God. “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone” John 8:7

It comes down to this…someone needs to repent and someone needs to forgive, end of the story! I don’t know who is guilty or who is not and it’s not my place to know. I know that if justice is not obtained on earth it definitely will be achieved in heaven, so all I hope is for a transparent and honest process from both parts and that whoever did comes forward with the truth and repentance and who ever received the offense is ready to forgive.

Why did I decide to write this? I’ve heard of fellow Christians enraged by the situation, which it’s understandable, but I think we are focused on the wrong thing. Our duty right now is to pray for all the parts. For those who are near Bishop Long and the young men, they need to pray for wisdom to give adequate counsel and to determine where God wants them to be at this moment in time. We all need to pray for a congregation that is hurting because of these allegations.

I have never stepped a foot on New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, but I feel for all the people in the congregation, because I can understand that they are hurting. This is their time to look to God and not towards men for their answers.

I love my pastors. I’ve been part of my church family for 5 years now and I have a great respect for my leaders. I do recognize that they are humans and that just like me they can fail and that because of their visibility their attacks are way bigger than mine. I pray that God covers their every step, but if tomorrow something was to come out, true or not, my pain needs to turn into prayer because I can not forget that before they are my pastors they are souls to the Lord. Isn’t that what we as Christians are called to do? Isn’t our job to go after the lost? I don’t know who is lost in this case and as it’s not my job to judge, so I don’t care. I do exhort everyone to pray for ALL; Bishop Long and the young men that have filed these accusations. Both sides are hurting, and both sides are important to the Lord.

Be blessed.

October: Domestic Violence Awareness Month

On October 1, 2010October 9, 2011 By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

Domestic violence against woman. — Image via Wikipedia

Abuse is a cause very dear to my heart; all kinds of abuse. I think it’s despicable that someone will use their God’s given talents to overpower another creation and enslave it. October is domestic violence awareness month and I want to use this forum to give some hope to those who are in a domestic violence situation or recovering from it.

It may sound very basic, but there are people that have not realized that they are in a domestic violence situation. The primary causes its denial. Many people feel like their situation is not abusive because they don’t have bruises to show or their partners have never raised a hand on them. Others do know that they are being abused, but shame, guilt, erroneous beliefs, finances and fear may have them paralyzed to make a decision out of their abusive relationships. I don’t judge your choice of staying or leaving. All I do know is that God wants so much more for you.

Abuse comes in different shapes and forms. Physical abuse is more evident and not to be taken for granted. Emotional and psychological abuse is just as traumatizing and leaves permanent scars in those who endure them.

What is emotional and psychological abuse?

I want you to read the article in the link below. Basically it says that when you’re humiliated, manipulated and coerced into things that you don’t want to do. That’s emotional abuse!

http://www.womansdivorce.com/psychological-emotional-abuse.html

Regardless of the type of abuse someone is enduring, this is not what we were created for. For the most part the abuse comes from men to women, although we recognize that there are men that are being abused and it’s totally unacceptable as well. The Bible specifically states “God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. (Malachi 2:16 MSG). In a marriage, who’s the “one flesh”? The spouse. God doesn’t approve of violence in our homes.

Proverbs 10:11 “The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covered the mouth of the wicked” We are supposed to treat others in love, God doesn’t approve of verbally abusing each other. James 3:10 “Out of the same mouth proceeded blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be” Our mouth was created to praise God, eat…lol!, and bless others…not to use it as a weapon against others.

There’s so much ground to cover on this subject. To be honest, I’m learning along with you. Join me in this journey during this month, to uncover the truth of God’s plan for our lives, which is to prosper us and give us a brighter future (Jeremiah 29:11) and not of destruction. Abuse destroys lives and that’s not the plan of God.

If you’re in an abusive situation, seek help. Even if a door doesn’t open right away, keep knocking. Yes pray, but act! Even if you’re not in a domestic violence situation, join us in this discussion and support our brothers and sisters in pain.

Be blessed.

Flying high: Survivor of domestic abuse in skydive to raise funds for victims (menmedia.co.uk)
Randy Susan Meyers: Fasting Against the Violence at Home: Domestic Violence Awareness Month (huffingtonpost.com)
Event, Oct 6: Domestic Violence Awareness, OKC (oklahomawomen.blogspot.com)

My smiling post it

On September 28, 2010September 28, 2010 By Naty MatosIn FunLeave a comment

I figured it would just be fair to show my doodling smiling post-it. Keep smiling!!

Smile!

On September 28, 2010 By Naty MatosIn Inspirational ThoughtsLeave a comment

Have you ever pondered on how much a smile can affect another person, including yourself? I honestly had not thought about it until I discovered it myself in the craziest of ways.

Doodling at my desk at work, I pulled out a post it and drew some eyes a nose and a smile. I pulled the post it on the top of my computer screen. I know it’s totally silly and those of you who know me know that I have more than one screw missing. Every morning when I start working I see that post it and it makes me smile. That is a piece of paper (yes, I’m not that crazy…I do know it’s not real) Can you imagine, the impact that it can have on people around you if YOU who are real gave away a smile?

In this new era of technology where most of our communication is hidden behind some kind of gadget we tend to forget the basics about how to relate to others. We were created to connect, to form relationships. So smile today, smile a lot, to all those around you and if you’re like me, hidden in a cubicle, create your own smile!

Job 9:27
‘I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile,”

Have a blessed day!