My grandmother used to say, “Words do not break bones”. I have to add, but it does break souls. I think the hardest part for a victim of domestic abuse is letting go of the emotional grip and the psychological fear from their abusive situations. Physical wounds tend to heal, depending on the severity of them, but the invisible ones tend to run deep and last a long time.
I believe that at some point victims have to make the decision of not being victims anymore. I’m not talking about the ones that are still inside the relationship, although it does apply. I’m specifically addressing those who have finally gotten out and are still living emotionally in the prison of their past abuse. Many survivors carry with them the fear, anguish, that feeling of looking over their shoulders to see if there’s a threat, for a long time after they have escaped the arms of abuse. It’s life consuming. I’m not saying this is an easy process. I do know that it’s easier said than done. I also know that the abuser has taken so much out of their victims that my encouragement is to not give them one more second of your life.
I believe that a conscious decision needs to be made to retake the life that was stolen. God promises to restore your life. “I’ll make up for the years of the locust. You’ll eat your fill of good food. You’ll be full of praises to your God, the God who has set you back on your heels in wonder” Joel 2:25. It may take days, months or years. It’s a journey and a process, and it will require support and healing. God has promised to heal us and take care of those who have hurt us in any way. Jeremiah 30:16 “‘Everyone who hurt you will be hurt; your enemies will end up as slaves. Your plunderers will be plundered; your looters will become loot. As for you, I’ll come with healing, curing the incurable, because they all gave up on you and dismissed you as hopeless—“. I love this passage because when you’re in an abuse situation that’s exactly how you feel, hopeless and alone. God tells you that he sees your pain and its there through it. He promises to heal you from it.
Abusers have as much power as they are given. Choose not to feed that monster anymore!
If you are in an abusive situation, seek help. If you’re recovering from abuse, seek help. Allow God to guide your way out of your physical and emotional chains. It’s time to start living the life you were created to live. Know this, God is with you, and has a great purpose for your life. Close your ears to the lies of your abusers. God created you; beautiful, smart, strong and capable. You are not alone!!
DVAM-Domestic Violence Awareness Month
- Believing Your Own “Unbelievable” Memories (faithallen.wordpress.com)
- Anger, Forgiveness, and Healing (psychologytoday.com)